Wow! What a Weekend!!

4 Nov

I just had a really great weekend!! I’m so jazzed right now I can hardly stand it.

Yesterday I met up with JoAnn Bruhn.  We have always known each other, but just met up for the first time in this life time.  Never, in a million years did I ever think I would find someone who has had such a similar path as mine over the past 4 years.  But, then I met JoAnn!

She spoke at the October Forum and it was so good! JoAnn’s son Craig passed away in 1995 and she has been on the journey of intuitive knowing and peace ever since.  She is an intuitive as well as a gifted speaker and songwriter.  I have added a line to her website, Sundance Project.  The song that was channeled to her thru Craig three days after his death is just phenomenal.  I’ve lost count of the number of times I have listened to it since she gave it to me yesterday.

We got together on Saturday morning to share our journeys.  It is sooo much fun to talk about it all!  It is simply incredible.

Today our church had an All Saints Service.  This year it was held at St. John’s cemetery.  5 people were asked to speak about their loved one buried there.  I got to talk about Liz and I also shared a little bit of the amazing and wonderful connection that we still share today.  I hope I opened a few eyes and made a few people scratch their head and wonder.  My parents were in attendance which will also prove to be “interesting.” 

They know something has been going on with me … but they never ask me … I decided a while ago to adopt the “don’t ask … don’t tell policy” regarding intuitive happenings in my life … once in a while they’ll be brave and ask alittle something … but then they are quickly overwhelmed by the little I do share … so I have to back off.  Maybe this will be the start of something big … I hope so. 

Life is good!

Make your week great!

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Another Interesting Week!!

21 Oct

Life is just so darn fascinating … you just never know what is going to come your way each day when you wake up.

Thankfully, things at work have quieted … we still have security on site but a “person of interest” is being looked at and is a very strong suspect as the bomb threat perpetrator.

But something else really amazing happened in my “other life” this week and has been continually on my mind.

I got a call from my friend Marie a week ago asking if I would consider talking to a woman named Iris.  Her daughter Amy passed away very unexpectedly a little over two years ago.  She was a freshman in college.  Naturally Iris is devastated by this loss, as all of us are, when we lose a child.  But, she was also receiving very clear and specific messages from Amy; and she was beside herself trying to decide if they were “real” or was she just going crazy?  And, how did all of this fit with her religious upbringing?

Now Marie, who is also a psychic/medium, had met with Iris just a few days prior, and Amy was indeed present.  But as stubborn daughters can sometimes be, she refused to talk at that particular time. 

The next day Amy did return to Marie.  She said only one word … KIM.

Immediately though, Marie knew exactly what Amy meant and what she wanted.  Thus Marie’s call to me.

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted when I heard that a girl I didn’t even know, on the other side, would say my name! 

It didn’t take long before I realized that Liz had a part in this whole scenario.  She and Amy had connected and were completely orchestrating from above this meeting of their mothers.

A few days after setting up the meeting with Iris, it dawned on me.  Saturday was the 20TH.  The 20TH is very signficant for Liz and me.  THINGS HAPPEN ON THE 20TH ALOT!  And, this was no ordinary 20th … this was October 20th … the 4 year anniversary of Liz’s setting off of the smoke alarm in our home.  It was the one month anniversary of her passing … Roger, Anna and I were all home that night … but I was the only one who heard the alarm and realized it was a sign from her just for me. 

AND, another “interesting” fact is that Amy’s birthday is September 24TH … the 20th plus 4th anniversary = 24! (numbers and their significance is another subject that has become a fascination for me in the past 4 years!)

As I met with Iris yesterday and we each talked about our daughters, it was so obvious that they would be friends.  They were similar in so many ways … they each enjoy physical activities such as skiing and all types of sports.  They love France and the French language … they both have many friends and talk a mile a minute 99% of the time.

Iris is trying to come to terms with what has happened and to embrace the knowledge that Amy is indeed alive and living a marvelous new life … but it isn’t easy and it is a journey that takes time and some help along the way.

I trust that our time together yesterday is part of that help as she continues on this path of discovery, acceptance, peace … and, I hope,  at some point  …a return to JOY.

For me, it was, once again, another validation that God is always in control … and he cares about all of us more than we can ever imagine … and he plays an active, vital role in our every day lives, if we choose to let him … and sometimes even if we don’t!

Make your day great!

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Another Not Normal Day

12 Oct

I so wanted yesterday to be a normal work day.  But it was anything but.  Another bomb threat was called into our company.  When the decision was made not to evacuate, another threat came in an hour later.

This is new territory for all concerned at our company.  After learning of the 2nd call, my supervisor sent us all home.  I really didn’t want to go … by now I’ve got to believe these calls are nothing but idle threats by someone getting their kicks by jerking us around.  But … when someone in authority tells me to do something … I listen.  So, at 10:00 am I was once again in my car headed home.

Only Roger didn’t come home … I knew he was still working … as were most everybody else in the company other than my department.  I really considered going back but thought I would probably be blocked from entering the parking lot. I thought about calling Roger, but that didn’t seem like a good idea either … so I spent another day at home … not that I mind being at home … I love being at home … but I felt like I should be at work.

An emergency employee meeting was held yesterday afternoon.  A security specialist from our company headquarters in Charlotte, NC had flown in.  There is now a $5000 reward for anyone who can provide information leading to the arrest of the caller.

But, the most un-nerving news was that they believe the calls are internal … someone inside our building is making these calls!!  

I AM going to work this morning with alittle trepidation, but mostly hope that this craziness will end.

An Interesting Week!

11 Oct

It’s been an interesting week.  Last Friday I attended the Intuitive Forum in Maple Grove and heard Joann Bruhn share her story of the loss of her son, Craig and her journey through that and the signs she received from him, which ultimately lead her to develop her own intuitive abilities.

Sound familiar?  I was sooo happy to learn that I am not the only person who has walked this road!!

Even more amazing was that Joann knows the Spekien’s, the parents of Amanda, who died with Liz. 

Joann and I are planning to get together soon for coffee to share more of our similar experiences.

On the home front, our internet went out last week and after some very frustrating days dealing with customer service in some far away land, it inexplicably began to work again … a big THANK YOU to whoever is responsible for that …

Work is ever changing and that is always challenging … I’ve had to take on far more responsibility than I want … I came in on Monday wondering where to even begin –I turned on my computer — got a cup of coffee and was just starting to take it all in.  Suddenly the fire alarm sounded — who in their right mind schedules a fire drill at 7:45 am on a Monday when its cold and rainy??? 

As we all exited the building we soon found out someone had called in a bomb threat.  After waiting around for a couple of hours we were all sent home for the day … a very unexpected event, but all I could think of was all the work that was continuing to pile up.

On Tuesday we moved back into our remodeled offices … they are very nice, but again more time away from doing what I need to do.

Yesterday I thought … Ok a regular day … I can actually start to get some of this work done!  However, at 10:00 am the announcement was made … another bomb threat had been called in … again we all exited the building … after a search we were allowed back in after about an hour.

Maybe today will be a normal day …. but then again, what IS a normal day?

What dreams may come …

24 Sep

Liz came to visit last night … in a dream …  and I hadn’t even made it to bed yet … I had fallen asleep in front of the TV!

In my dream I was in the exact spot in the family room I really was at … on the couch … Anna was also there sitting on the floor.  In walked Liz looking very svelt in a pale blue pants and blazer with a white top underneath — very sheek and grown up!   Her hair was shorter than usual and she was wearing black framed glasses.

She walked over and started to give Anna all kinds of advice.  I don’t consciously remember anything she said — I was too busy just looking at her.  It felt so natural that she was there … the significance of what was happening hadn’t hit me yet.  She finished talking and walked around the corner and disappeared just as if she were walking up our basement stairs. 

It wasn’t until she was gone that it hit me … oh my goodness, that’s right … she’s dead … this IS a big deal!!

Then I began to wonder if Anna saw her as I did and I started to quiz Anna on what Liz was wearing.  Anna refused to tell me and she kept saying, what difference does it make?  It didn’t make any difference, I just wanted her to tell me that she saw the same thing I did.  But she wouldn’t tell me … which was extremely frustrating … the dream ended and I woke up.

The last time Liz showed up in a dream was October, 2005, and there are some interesting similarities whenever she chooses to present herself in this way.

We are always in some room in our home.  She is always wearing glasses (and they are usually quite wierd) … I was always puzzled by the glasses because she didn’t wear glasses when she was here.   I’ve since been told the glasses mean that she now sees things in a new way.  That makes sense to me.

And, up until last night, her and I were the only ones in the dreams.  Adding Anna to the picture is a new development. 

It certainly was a very nice surprise.  And, I didn’t even have to ask.

I’m now trying to take it all in and figure out if there was more she was trying to tell me other than:  Hello!~ I’m fine and I’m continuing to learn and grow, check in … and continue to be Anna’s big sister.

Yup … Life is good!

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Weekend in Wisconsin

23 Sep

Roger and I headed east yesterday morning.  It was a beautiful day for a drive.  We were heading to Racine, Wisconsin to the home of Rich & Darlene Heiden, the parents of Brian, who died along with Liz and Amanda Spekien.

It has become a ritual around the 20th of September … we all gather — parents, siblings, college roommates and friends — to remember and laugh — the stories flow freely and they make us all smile and remember our kids.

Two years ago everyone came to our home, last year we were in Vadnais Heights at the Spekiens; and this year we all made the trip to Racine.

I’m so proud of Liz’s roommates.  They also lost so much that day.  Not only did they lose their friends who had become their family, but they also lost their home and the majority of their belongings.

They have each persevered.  Fik is in med school in Washington DC, Monique and Bri graduated in May and are working … contemplating grad school next year.  And Afton will graduate in May.  They are doing what Liz, Brian and Amanda would want them to do … go out and live a good life … to the fullest.  That is the best way we can all honor them.

We made a trip to the cemetery to see Brian’s stone.  I’m still amazed when I see each stone.  As parents, we never discussed the headstones for our children.  But one by one as we made the visit each September 20th … we were astounded to see how strikingly similar they all are.

Each are black granite … Liz and Amanda’s stones are the same shape (a tear drop) and we each have a picture of our child etched into the stone.  Each are beautiful and wonderful tributes for three lives cut short.

The sadness has lifted … I feel free to go out and live my life with JOY … always remembering and always loving.

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Time is an Illusion

20 Sep

September 20th has arrived.  4 years ago today Liz left this world for the next.  It is still hard to believe.  It feels like yesterday and 100 years ago all at once.  My friend Kathryn says that time is an illusion … that concept rings so true for me today.

I had grand plans that this year I would carry on as if it were a regular day.  I would go to work and it would be just fine.  After all, I had done that on her birthday just last week and it had been a good day.

About Tuesday, however, my spirit and my body started to tell me otherwise; and thankfully, I listened.  Today is not just another day, and it never will be.   It is a day fraught with huge emotion and that will never change.

I needed to be where I felt most comforted and that for me is home.  I love my house.  It is my haven.  It is a place where I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.  I can schlep around in my PJ’s until Noon if I want to.  I can be quiet and present with my thoughts and emotions.  And some part of my daughter is always present here.

If I’ve learned anything these past 4 years it is that you have to acknowledge your feelings.  So I acknowledge my pain today.  I honor it and I call it by name.  If I do this, I know it will leave me.

If I had continued on with the charade that today is just another day I would have denied my truth and the pain would have stayed within me … only to come back on another day.

So today I claim my pain and all of my emotions and I remember the sadness and the huge loss.  To do otherwise would be a vast dis-service to my daughter.

In the end, pain DOES  give way to JOY and LAUGHTER.

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Hello from Heaven

13 Sep

I brought in the mail yesterday afternoon and found a postcard from church.  They have a prayer group who meets weekly and goes through our pictorial directory and they pray for each person or family in it.  Then they send out a card saying “we prayed for you today” and they each sign their first names.

I thought oh how nice that this card arrived on Liz’s birthday … then I scanned down further to see the signature’s of those who had prayed for us.  Right there in the middle of all the names was the signature of Elizabeth!

What a wonderful gift Liz gave me on her birthday!

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Happy Birthday!

12 Sep

24 years ago today I gave birth for the first time to a very beautiful baby girl whom we named Elizabeth Jean … happy birthday my precious angel girl!

Viva Las Vegas!

4 Sep

Anna and I spent the last 4 days in Vegas and we had a blast!  But it was hot-hot-hot … over 100 every day … and yes it is a “dry” heat … but it was still HOT!

Our little adventure started off kind of rocky though … our flight was suppose to leave at 2 pm on Thursday; however, just as they announced boarding … we found out some cheese ball from the previous flight had taken the exit sign over the door of the plane as a souvenier and without it we couldn’t fly!

We didn’t leave Mpls until 6:30 pm that evening!  But no worries … we were in Vegas by 9 pm.

Louie Anderson (famous Minnesota comedian) was going to be on our flight … but when the exit sign went missing so did Louie … we found out later he had a show to do that night … oh well, it was fun to see him standing around waiting just like the rest of us.

We went to 2 shows, saw a Picasso exhibit at the Belagio, went to Hoover Dam/Lake Mead, went to Madame Toussoue’s wax museum, spent a couple hours at the pool, gambled just a little (at the penny slots), explored too many casinos to mention, ate at numerous buffets, and did lots of walking.  All in all a great trip.  We actually traveled quite well together and didn’t get on each other’s nerves (well not too much).

A funny story while at Hoover Dam … before we left I got the very strong sense that Liz was going to be a part of our trip in some way … however, once we got to Vegas we were so busy I didn’t give it much thought.  We had just finished the dam tour (no pun intended) and were in the very cheesy gift shop … Anna was looking at the key chains with names on them … amazingly they actually had one with the name ANNA on it.  I couldn’t resist and looked to see if they had one with the name ELIZABETH.  They did … I just ran my fingers over it, and let out a little sigh … suddenly this voice in my head said “I’m dead — I don’t need a key chain!”

I just broke out laughing … it was very true and completely unexpected.

We got home last night at 10 pm … again our plane was late … suppose to leave at 2 pm; however, we boarded at 3 pm but didn’t actually take off until 3:40 pm …the joys of mass transit.

It is good to be home though … Vegas is fun … but only for a few days … I like the real world much better.

Roger had a great time on his fishing trip as well  … thankfully he caught fish but nothing that will be taking up permanent residence on a wall in our home!

LIFE IS GOOD!

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