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Life Lessons

2 May

Please welcome guest blogger, Dave Roberts!

I don’t know if I can point to the one most important lesson that I have learned in my life, thus far. Since my daughter Jeannine died on 3/1/03 at the age of 18 of a rare and aggressive form of cancer, many teachings /lessons have made themselves known to me. All of these lessons/teachings have helped me progress from the raw pain of my early grief to adjusting to a world without the physical presence of my daughter. These teachings have redefined me and in the process allowed me to develop a relationship with Jeannine based on pure, unconditional love. I have also been blessed with a supportive group of family and friends who have supported the expression of my experience as I see fit. They don’t view it as good or bad and neither do I. One of the lessons that I have learned in my journey following Jeannine’s death is that labeling an experience prevents us from appreciating fully the lessons inherent in that experience. Labeling someone’s grief experience as good or bad does not allow us to fully appreciate and learn from the challenges that they have encountered along the way.
I have been an addiction professional for 27 years and have also observed the impact of diagnostic labels on how we view clients/patients that we encounter. If we buy into the stigmas associated with labeling, our resulting biases will never allow us to get a complete picture of how the client sees the world and the inherent strengths that they bring to therapy.

Here are some other lessons that I have learned in the years since Jeannine’s death

Doing what we perceive to be the right thing does not guarantee a life that is pain free: Before Jeannine’s illness and death, I always thought that if I worked hard and did the right thing, that God would protect me and my family from harm. However, as God and my experience as a bereaved parent has taught me there are no guarantees in life. Life isn’t about being fair and unfair; it is about learning to negotiate the many challenges that are presented along the way. If we can successfully negotiate these challenges, we develop resiliency and a renewed sense of purpose. We learn to get stronger at the broken places.

There is a difference between entitlement and gratitude: In the early part of my grief journey, I regularly questioned God as to why He chose me and my family to bear the burden of burying one of our family members at such a young age. After all, we had always done the right thing in our lives; because of that we were entitled not to bear this burden of grief. I soon discovered that there were many more parents whose children predeceased them. Connecting with them helped me learn gratitude for having them in my life and gratitude for the present moment.
There is spirit in everything and in everything there is spirit: Many parents that I know have been graced with signs from their children (as have I). Let the signs that you experience not only validate that our children are with us in a different from of energy, but allow you to see yourself as a truly spiritual being. If we can commit to this way of life, it allows us to see life and death differently. We can change our perspective on life and death, if we choose to do so.

All of these lessons have changed how I view the world. I am not the person I was before Jeannine’s death and frankly I don’t know if I could identify with that person. I have become a more loving, spiritual and centered individual as a result of the struggle with Jeannine’s death. Does it mean that I miss her physical presence any less or that I have achieved closure (a process that doesn’t apply to our journeys after the death of our children)? Absolutely not! My journey as a parent who has experienced the death of a child will be life long. I know that I can revisit the emotional pain of Jeannine’s death at anytime. Today, I don’t have the same dread about re-experiencing it. I am, however, more conscious of it and try to discover what my pain is trying to teach me. We can learn from everything, if we are open to it.

David J. Roberts, LMSW, CASAC, became a bereaved parent after his daughter Jeannine died of cancer on 3/1/03 at the age of 18. He has been employed in the addictions field for 27 years and is also an adjunct professor in the psychology and psychology-child life departments at Utica College, Utica, New York. Mr. Roberts also developed a topics course on Parental Bereavement issues, and teaches a Death, Dying and Bereavement course for Utica College. He is a volunteer for Hospice and Palliative Care, Inc, in New Hartford, New York and a member of the All Inclusive Care for Children Coalition.

Be sure to check out Dave’s website: http://bootsyandangel.blogspot.com/

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Owning Pink

12 Jul

I now “own pink” and you can too!  You don’t have to like pink or even wear pink – you can just “own pink.”

What does it mean to “own pink?”

You own pink when you are who you are, warts and all.  A blog called Owning Pink was started alittle over a year ago by Dr. Lissa Rankin.

Over the course of the past year, women and a few men, have found her blog (including me) and we became part of “the pink posse.”  We share our thoughts, our beliefs, our difficulties and our triumphs.   And it is all done in a very warm, nuturing and loving environment.

It was an amazing and wonderful opportunity to share my life’s stories with this great group of people.

A month ago, Lissa took the next big step by making Owning Pink a website.

She asked some of us to be regular contributors.  I was thrilled and honored to be asked to write for Owning Pink!

I will still be maintaining my blog, Love Lives On, as well as writing for Owning Pink.

Come on over and check us out.  I guarantee there is something for everyone!

http://www.owningpink.com/

If you would like to read my blog posts on Owning Pink, go here:

http://www.owningpink.com/blogs/owning-pink-bloggers

We Have All Knelt At Different Graves

28 Apr

Sometimes you strive to say something, but you cannot articulate it in words as you would like, so you say nothing.

Sometimes, however, you come across other blogs that say it perfectly.  Such is the case for me today.

So I’m re-printing Phil Bolsta’s blog post for today.  If you haven’t yet found Phil’s blog, I highly recommend it.  It can be found at http://bolstablog.wordpress.com

Phil’s post quotes Deepak Chopra as well.  So thanks Phil and thanks Deepak!

While reading Deepak Chopra‘s insightful book, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, this excerpt on page 183 spoke to me. In this passage lies the reason why one religion or spiritual path is not right for everybody.

We are all born to travel our own path; when we find the right one, it feels like we have come home. What works for me may not necessarily work for you and vice versa. Understanding this removes judgment from the equation. How can we judge another’s destiny? The answer, of course, is that we cannot. All we can do is focus on our own journey.

Intention springs from our deepest desires, and those desires are shaped by karma. You and I don’t have the same karma; therefore we dont have exactly the same desires. We have loved different people, knelt at different graves, prayed at different altars. The specifics of desire are unique to each of us.

Yet if you follow the chain of desire, in the end we are all the same. We want to be happy. We want to be fulfilled. We want meaning and purpose in our lives. We want a sense of connection with God or spirit. We want other people to respect us and love us. And we want to feel safe. These desires are universal. But the route each of us takes to satisfy them is uniquely our own, based on our individual experiences and memories, or karma. Were all heading for the same destination, but we take different roads. We arrive together, having traveled our different paths.

This is quite a wonderful book. It explains in great detail how and why the universe lives in each of us and works through each of us. This knowledge is the key to realizing our full potential as human and spiritual beings. I highly recommend it!


ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

 Click here to buy Sixty Seconds. Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.

Guest Blogger

3 Dec

I’ve been asked to provide some of my writing for two different blogs.  Both of them have been published this week.  Here are the links:

http://lesleehorner.wordpress.com/2009/12/03/kims-click/

http://moniquechapman.wordpress.com/2009/12/01/putting-the-pieces-of-the-puzzle-of-life-back-together/

If I get enough hits on Monique Chapman’s blog, I will be a guest on one of her radio shows!

Enjoy your day!

Another Stunning Example

20 Apr

If my last post didn’t convince you of God’s intimate presence in our lives, perhaps this one will.   This story comes directly from Phil Bolsta’s blog, http://bolstablog.com

 Keep in mind, though,  that whether or not this gentlemen listened to what he was being told, he still would have been fine – the outcomes would have been completely different, of course, but HE still would have been fine.  Different lessons would have been learned, but HE STILL WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE.

Now … on to the story:
When Christopher Barbour, a clairvoyant intuitive and writer who assists law enforcement with difficult cases, told me these two amazing stories about how his angel saved his life, I knew I had to share them here. Goose bump alert!

As far back as I can remember, I have always felt watched over and cared about by a divine mysterious creator, and what I would call a spiritual support system. Thankfully, this inner life of mine was not foisted upon me by organized religion or well meaning family members—it’s always been there, and always will be there.

When I was seven, episodes of clairvoyance and intuition spontaneously began to bubble to the surface in my life. These experiences always took me directly to the sacred and the mysteries that we all share. That intuitive wiring of mine would eventually become part of my work, expressed via a path of mysticism and service.

If you asked me prior to when I reached my 30s if I believed in angels, I would have said, ”Of course!” I would have answered that question looking through the prism of faith, combined with an inner knowing, as well as through reading accounts in ancient sacred texts, and listening to stories people have shared with me over the years about encounters with angels.

angel-in-forest

In the fall of 2002, I was dealing with some difficult personal and family issues and was rebounding from the death of a friend who had a long struggle with heroin addiction and eventually died of complications from hepatitis. I was in such a state that no amount of praying, meditation or discussion with my support system was helping. I was in a crisis mode unlike anything I had experienced before, and decided one blustery fall day, to take a long walk in a forest near my home in northern Arizona that many have described as “magical.” Walks alone in nature had become my way to deal with my mysteries and some of the darkness of my work, so it seemed the perfect thing for me to do under the circumstances.

My walk began normally but within about forty-five minutes, I had become so entrenched in my own head and problems that I hadn’t realized that I had veered off the path and was walking through a thicket of small trees and shrubs. I kept walking for several more minutes, approaching a line of low shrubs, when I heard a woman call my name. The voice that called “Christopher!” was female, and though I couldn’t place her, she sounded familiar; she shouted my name as only someone who knew me very well would.

I froze on the spot and looked to my left where the voice seemed to come from, and briefly saw a beautiful woman with long, light brown hair and a light colored diaphanous gown. She disappeared after a few seconds, before I was able to get a good look at her. I looked down and realized that I was no longer on the path, and that if I had taken one more step, I would have fallen forty feet onto jagged rocks below. I stood there, alone in the forest, closed my eyes and said to her, “Thank you, thank you, thank you . . .” 

car-ditch-snow

In early December 2004, I booked a trip back to the east coast to see my family in Connecticut for the holidays. I had arranged my trip so that I would return to Arizona on January 4th, after the holiday travel rush. One evening, I got into bed and fell into that state just before sleep called the hypnogogic state.

That is when a profound vision was downloaded into me. I was shown a scenario, seen from my own point of view, of flying back to Arizona from the east coast. It was stormy and raining as the plane landed. I looked to my left and in the seat next to me, there she was again, my angel—beautiful, light-filled, with long hair—the same woman who had called my name that day in the forest two years earlier. She was so light-filled, in fact, that I couldn’t look at her for more than a few seconds for fear that my eyes couldn’t take the brightness.

I was shown myself getting into the car that was to pick me up after my flight home, and then shown the driver and me on the highway north of Phoenix whizzing along. The car hit a patch of ice and I saw myself as the car began to slide off the highway and crash and come apart. I saw the windshield coming closer as I was thrown out of the car. There in front of me, seconds before what would have been my death, was my angel, smiling and radiating peace that I could feel deep within. I awoke with a start, shocked by what I had been shown with such razor clarity. I laid in bed for some time thinking about the vision and pondering canceling my trip east. It was very clear in the vision that I was flying west when this event happened, after I had been to the east coast. As I fell back to sleep, the vision came a second time, exactly as it had played out the first time. It was as if God and my angel didn’t want to leave room for denial or any ”it was just a dream” nonsense. It worked. I awoke the second time with a start and simply said, “Thank you God, thanks guys, I get it, I get it.”

After the visions, I was left with a strong inner knowing that as long as I didn’t return on January 4th, I would not die. I went back east for the holidays and after a few days, I checked the weather reports for Arizona and learned that a series of storms was heading toward the state. In fact, the part of Arizona where I live was bracing for severe floods and storms capable of producing dangerously icy conditions. I called the airline and extended my stay in Connecticut for a week, knowing that it was important, if I wanted to live, not to return to Arizona on January 4th.

I began to think of the driver who was to pick me up at the airport on January 4th and drive me home. As he was driving me to the airport in Phoenix at the beginning of my trip, he said that he would be dropping someone off at my airline around the time of my return, so it would be he easy for him to pick me up and  drive me back home. I attempted to tell him about the visions I had but I was unable to get through to him. I learned early in life that when it comes to visions, people are either open or they’re not-—many, especially men, are unreachable until an experience actually happens to them.

As I sat in my mother’s home in Greenwich, Connecticut, I wondered, Should I call the car service to warn them, not caring if I sounded like a goofball? I decided to do that, and though I tried to call the number at least a dozen times over the course of several days, my call would never go through. It felt to me as though Heaven had something up their sleeves and it was not my business to mess with it. As January 4th neared, I sent the driver grace and prayers for his safety and greater good.

angel-protecting-planeI returned home to Arizona completely intact. I had missed what friends and neighbors would eventually call “the 100-year flood.”  A few weeks after my return, I was catching up with a friend who works in law enforcement and she told me that in early January, while I was away, there had been a terrible accident on the highway north of Phoenix. I froze as she said, “Thank God, no one was in the car with the driver. He lived, but there was virtually nothing left of the rest of the car.”

Several weeks after that, in a synchronicity that only the gods could arrange, I ran into the man who would have been my driver that day—the man who survived the crash. He proceeded to tell me that on January 4th, after dropping a woman off at the airport, he had a very close brush with death as he made his way north on highway I-17. His car hit a patch of ice on the highway north of Phoenix and there was a devastating accident. He told me that the police could not believe that he lived. Only the cage around the driver was intact, the rest of the car was tangled, jagged metal. When the police found out that he worked for a car service, they said, “Thank God you didn’t have any passengers. There’s no way they could have survived.” Then he told me something that I found both fascinating and chilling. The accident occurred in the exact spot where he had pulled over years earlier, to pick up a dead owl and give it a respectful burial.

That driver was scheduled for a close brush with death for reasons known only to God and that man’s spiritual support system. This God we experience and speak about knows the tiniest details about our lives. It was known that this brush with death was scheduled and necessary, and that I was “accidentally” scheduled to be in that car. It was somehow necessary in the whole scheme of things that I was not to reach the car service or the driver to give them a heads up. It felt as if God and my angel were saying, via the visions I was sent

We want you to know this is on the horizon. You can come home if you want, but we think you are needed on that bedeviled planet and have more work to do. It’s up to you, you can come home or stay. The choice is yours. We will be watching very closely.

Needless to say, I chose to stay. What I have learned through these two experiences is that we are more closely watched, and watched over, than we could ever imagine. I often wonder, “Just what is this unseen world that exists and cares so much about us within the vastness of time and space?” I am humbled, and I often cry, when I think about how much this mysterious creator and my angelic companion care about me.

I have never taken one walk in the beauty that surrounds me since without thinking about my angel and the day she called my name with such compassion, saving me from breaking my body in two. Her beauty and light is hard to describe and my love for her knows no bounds. She was there, right beside me in the visions of the car crash, letting me know that she would walk with me to what lies beyond the veil of death, where our lives really begin.

The visions themselves came from the One who created all visions, and wired us with intuition and spiritual gifts and skills and the stamina to not care what others think, the One who waits for us to awaken from our human slumber, who longs for us to remember what we already know.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

 This story was taken from Triumph of the Spirit, Phil Bolsta’s blog.  To learn more about Phil or to read other great stories (including a couple of mine) go to:  http://bolstablog.com

ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bic0j4QqFbI

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Listening to that still, small voice

10 Apr

One of my favorite blogs is Phil Bolsta’s blog, Triumph of the Spirit.       Check it out at http://bolstablog.wordpress.com

I’ve never copied anyone’s blog entry verbatim … until now.  I read Phil’s post for today after I had written my own blog entry and it tied in so closely with what I was trying to get across, that I decided the best thing to do was to borrow it and reprint it here as well.

Here is Ken Gaub’s phone call – THE BEST STORY EVER!:

Do you believe that God not only loves you, but knows where you are and what you’re doing every minute of the day? I certainly do after an amazing experience I had several years ago.

At the time I was driving on I-75 near Dayton, Ohio, with my wife and children. We turned off the highway for a rest and refreshment stop. My wife, Barbara, and our children went into the restaurant. I suddenly felt the need to stretch my legs, so I waved them off ahead, saying I’d join them later. I bought a soft drink, and as I walked toward a Dairy Queen, feelings of self-pity enshrouded my mind. I loved the Lord and my ministry, but I felt drained, burdened. My cup was empty.

Suddenly, the impatient ringing of a telephone nearby jarred me out of my doldrums. It was coming from a phone booth at a service station on the corner. Wasn’t anyone going to answer the phone?

Noise from the traffic flowing through the busy intersection must have drowned out the sound because the service station attendant continued looking after his customers, oblivious to the ringing.

“Why doesn’t somebody answer that phone?” I muttered. I began reasoning. It may be important. What if it’s an emergency? Curiosity overcame my indifference. I stepped inside the booth and picked up the phone.

phone-booth“Hello,” I said casually and took a big sip of my drink. The operator said: “Long distance call for Ken Gaub.” My eyes widened, and I almost choked on a chunk of ice. Swallowing hard, I said, “You’re crazy!”

Then, realizing I shouldn’t speak to an operator like that, I added, “This can’t be! I was walking down the road, not bothering anyone,and the phone was ringing… “

Is Ken Gaub there?” the operator interrupted, “I have a long distance call for him.” It took a moment to gain control of my babbling, but I finally replied, “Yes, he is here.”

Searching for a possible explanation, I wondered if I could possibly be on Candid Camera! Still shaken, perplexed, I asked, “How in the world did you reach me here? I was walking down the road, the pay phone started ringing, and I just answered it on chance. You can’t mean me.” ”Well,” the operator asked, “Is Mr. Gaub there or isn’t he?”

“Yes, I am Ken Gaub,” I said, finally convinced by the tone of her voice that the call was real. Then I heard another voice say, “Yes, that’s him, operator. That’s Ken Gaub.” I listened dumbfounded to a strange voice identify herself. “I’m Millie from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. You don’t know me, Mr. Gaub, but I’m desperate. Please help me.”

“What can I do for you?” I said. She began weeping. Finally, she regained control and continued. “I was about to commit suicide, had just finished writing a note, when I began to pray and tell God I really didn’t want to do this. Then I suddenly remembered seeing you on television and thought if I could just talk to you, you could help me. I knew that was impossible because I didn’t know how to reach you, I didn’t know anyone who could help me find you. Then some numbers came to my mind, and I scribbled them down.”

At this point she began weeping again, and I prayed silently for wisdom to help her. She continued, “I looked at the numbers and thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I had a miracle from God, and He has given me Ken’s phone number?’ I decided to try calling it. I can’t believe I’m talking to you. “Are you in your office in California?”

I replied, “Lady, I don’t have an office in California. My office is in Yakima, Washington.” A little surprised, she asked, “Oh really, then where are you?” ”Don’t you know?” I responded. “You made the call.” She explained, “But I don’t even know what area I’m calling. I just dialed the number that I had on this paper.” 

“Ma’am, you won’t believe this, but I’m in a phone booth in Dayton, Ohio!” ”Really?” she exclaimed. “Well, what are you doing there?” I kidded her gently, “Well, I’m answering the phone. It was ringing as I walked by, so I answered it.”

Knowing this encounter could only have been arranged by God, I began to counsel the woman. As she told me of her despair and frustration, the presence of the Holy Spirit flooded the phone booth, giving me words of wisdom beyond my ability. In a matter of moments, she prayed the sinner’s prayer and met the One who would lead her out of her situation into a new life. I walked away from that telephone booth with an electrifying sense of our Heavenly Father’s concern for each of His children. 

What were the astronomical odds of this happening? With all the millions of phones and innumerable combinations of numbers, only an all-knowing God could have caused that woman to call that number in that phone booth at that moment in time.

Forgetting my drink and nearly bursting with exhilaration, I headed back to my family, wondering if they would believe my story. Maybe I better not tell this, I thought, but I couldn’t contain it. ”Barb, you won’t believe this! God knows where I am!”

When in Doubt — Choose Love

20 Mar

When everything is said and done, there are really only two emotions that we have:  love and fear.  How we choose to react to people and experiences in our lives is with some form of either of these two emotions.  Hurt, anger, lonliness, are all forms of fear.  Compassion, faith, helpfulness, are all a part of love.

We always are free to choose how we respond to everything in our lives.  And however we respond sends ripples out into the world to other people and other situations.

Consider for a moment how different our world would be if we all chose love instead of fear.  It would be a heaven right here on earth.

Consider also that everyone on the planet is important and has a purpose.  Whatever we do, no matter how small or insignificant we feel it to be, changes our world.

We’ve all heard the saying, you change the world one person at a time.  What if, we each tried to respond in love … we could change the world. 

Check out this you tube video by Susan Apollon … have a great day – YOU are important … choose LOVE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW0ViDkEoyE&feature=email

Planting a Seed … and It Grows!

31 Jan

Raising my children has been the most rewarding, fullfilling experience of my life.   It has also been  extremely frustrating and agonizing at times as well.  In the end, I learned to accept the difficult along with the good.  What always remains constant and unchanging is the love I feel for my girls – it never waivers … even in the most difficult of times.  For those of you who know me, know that I have seen both sides of the spectrum.

The brightness and love  outweigh any darkness and sadness, and in the end you accept it all just as it is in gratitude for blessings received.

Every now and then though, you do get a glimpse that maybe … just maybe you’ve succeeded in a small way as a parent.  I got one such glimpse this week, when I read my daughter, Anna’s blog post.

http://ifonlyforaday.wordpress.com/2009/01/28/spoiled-beyond-belief/

Which Comes First, Your Reality or Your Attitude?

28 Jan

You are responsible – this is one of the principles taught by the Light Collective through Kathryn Harwig.  http://harwig.com

We each create our own lives by what we do (or don’t do) and by what and how we think.

Many people are not happy with their lives … but instead of looking at themselves they blame others or the world for all of their malodies.

I’m doomed … nothing ever goes my way … nothing good ever happens to me … this is  some of the daily self talk that rolls around in people’s brains each and every day.  What they don’t realize is that it becomes a self fullfilling prophecy, and it snowballs into negativity that doesn’t end.

It’s the old adage of seeing the glass as half full … or half empty … again, depending upon how you view the world.  How we choose to view it, however,  is always our choice.

But enough of my ramblings … click on the link below to go to Phil Bolsta’s blog, Triumph of the Spirit … his entry for today, January 28th, says it much better than I can.

http://bolstablog.wordpress.com/2009/01/28/first/#more-3994

Have a great day and see the glass half full!

It’s Amazing

9 Jan

I use the word amazing alot in my life … but so many things are amazing and wonderful.  This blog link is no exception.

I’ve come to know Phil Bolsta a little over the past few months, even though we have yet to meet in person.  He is a fellow traveler on the spiritual path we each find ourselves on.

He’s written a very wonderful book entitled, Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything.  http://sixtysecondsbook.com

 It is a collection of 45 different life changing stories from a variety of prominent people.

There was an event last October … six of the storytellers are featured in the link below.  I believe you will find them as fascinating, interesting, amazing and just plain joyful as I have!

http://bolstablog.wordpress.com/2009/01/08/sixty-seconds-night-at-the-continuum-center/#more-2729