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Dearest Elizabeth

20 Sep

As I write this letter to you today, I cannot help but reflect back to thirteen years ago.  It was a day much like today — sunny and beautiful, with the hints of Fall beginning to make their appearance.  I cannot help but be overwhelmed with a surge of so many different emotions.  I could write on and on about how I wish things could have been different, or how one learns to live in joy again when someone you love so deeply leaves you so quickly.  But these are all topics for another day.

Today, my heart and soul are overwhelmingly and unequivocally filled with LOVE and GRATITUDE for YOU. Your physical presence has been absent for 13 years now, and we all miss that so much.  As I heard from so many people, you always knew how to have fun Liz — even when there seemed to be no fun to be had.

I will always remember our last Thanksgiving — after a wonderful meal we played a game — it was charades of sorts.  You chose the word thimble and your task was to get us to say it.  Only problem, you had no idea what a thimble was used for — so you described it as only you could — as a “finger condom” — much to my chagrin and embarrassment as your grandmother and great aunt sat nearby!  There isn’t a Thanksgiving that goes by that we don’t talk about you and remember and laugh about your “finger condom.”

I will be forever grateful to my family, my friends, and all of your friends, Liz.  They all continue to boldly speak your name at every opportunity and we all remember and smile and sometimes we just laugh.  Your friends have gone on to live wonderful, productive lives.  They are husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, teachers, business people, psychologists, doctors, nurses, interpreters, and many other things.  And it is good, it is all so good!

You taught us all so many things through your death.  You taught me most of all that love never dies, even if people do.  There are no words to adequately thank you for reaching out so quickly in those first days, weeks and months, to let me know — to let us all know — that you were fine — you were living a wonderful, new marvelous life — and you continue to make your presence known — even today — and I am SO GRATEFUL.

Roger, Anna and I REALIZE that because of YOU, we are better people — and it is so true Liz.  You opened up new possibilities in each of our lives that were completely foreign and even scary to us, and you walked with each of us every step of the way.  Because of YOU we each do what we can to make this world a better place — and WE ARE GRATEFUL because of YOU.

We continue to be a family of four, we continue to live in love each and every day because of YOU.

So on this day, I say THANK YOU Liz.  YOU have made a difference — in our lives and in the lives of many others.

Well done, good and faithful servant — until we meet again.

Love Always,

Mom


2 Timothy 4:7:  “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Elizabeth Wencl  Elizabeth Jean Wencl     9/12/83  –  9/20/03

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Dearest Elizabeth

19 Sep

As I write this letter to you today, I cannot help but reflect back to thirteen years ago.  It was a day much like today — sunny and beautiful, with the hints of Fall beginning to make their appearance.  I cannot help but be overwhelmed with a surge of so many different emotions.  I could write on and on about how I wish things could have been different, or how one learns to live in joy again when someone you love so deeply leaves you so quickly.  But these are all topics for another day.

Today, my heart and soul are overwhelmingly and unequivocally filled with LOVE and GRATITUDE for YOU. Your physical presence has been absent for 13 years now, and we all miss that so much.  As I heard from so many people, you always knew how to have fun Liz — even when there seemed to be no fun to be had.

I will always remember our last Thanksgiving — after a wonderful meal we played a game — it was charades of sorts.  You chose the word thimble and your task was to get us to say it.  Only problem, you had no idea what a thimble was used for — so you described it as only you could — as a “finger condom” — much to my chagrin and embarrassment as your grandmother and great aunt sat nearby!  There isn’t a Thanksgiving that goes by that we don’t talk about you and remember and laugh about your “finger condom.”

I will be forever grateful to my family, my friends, and all of your friends, Liz.  They all continue to boldly speak your name at every opportunity and we all remember and smile and sometimes we just laugh.  Your friends have gone on to live wonderful, productive lives.  They are husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, teachers, business people, psychologists, doctors, nurses, interpreters, and many other things.  And it is good, it is all so good!

You taught us all so many things through your death.  You taught me most of all that love never dies, even if people do.  There are no words to adequately thank you for reaching out so quickly in those first days, weeks and months, to let me know — to let us all know — that you were fine — you were living a wonderful, new marvelous life — and you continue to make your presence known — even today — and I am SO GRATEFUL.

Roger, Anna and I REALIZE that because of YOU, we are better people — and it is so true Liz.  You opened up new possibilities in each of our lives that were completely foreign and even scary to us, and you walked with each of us every step of the way.  Because of YOU we each do what we can to make this world a better place — and WE ARE GRATEFUL because of YOU.

We continue to be a family of four, we continue to live in love each and every day because of YOU.

So on this day, I say THANK YOU Liz.  YOU have made a difference — in our lives and in the lives of many others.

Well done, good and faithful servant — until we meet again.

Love Always,

Mom


2 Timothy 4:7:  “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Elizabeth Wencl  Elizabeth Jean Wencl     9/12/83  –  9/20/03


It’s Been A While!

19 Feb

I have really neglected blogging for a while!  If you had been a reader you may have wondered why I haven’t posted for so long.  Nothing catastrophic has happened.  Quite the contrary.  Life is good, so very, very good.

The original intent of this blog was to write about my journey through the physical death of my oldest daughter, Elizabeth — along with the many stories of our intense, continued connection.  And I have achieved that goal.

Are we still connected?  You bet we are — stronger than ever.  But we have such a solid foundation that there really hasn’t been a need on either of our parts to communicate.  Life continues to be good on both sides of the veil.

Each day is a blessing and a gift and I try to make the most of each of them.  Some milestones have happened since I last wrote — my husband Roger and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary and we signed on for 35 more.  I turned 60 and love every minute of it.

Family is good — we’ve been lucky with good health and happiness for all.  Something none of us ever takes for granted.

If you watch the news each night as I do, it is easy to think that the world is falling apart.  Yes, there are many things wrong — but there is also so much right with it as well — it just doesn’t get the publicity that it should.

So continue to carry on, live in LOVE and not in fear — and love yourself,  continue to love and serve your God and every fellow sojourner on this journey we call life on earth.  It’s what drives me and gets me out of bed each and every day.

 

Many  Continued Blessings to each and every one of you.

Kim

Meet Toffee Roger Wencl

2 May

ToffeeandAnnaMeet the newest member of our family — Toffee Roger Wencl!  He became an official  Wencl this past Sunday and the transition thus far has been a smooth one both for Toffee and for us!

Toffee loves to play and he loves to walk — and he’s a wonderful leash walker — always by my side and never pulling or bounding ahead — something the Legendary Murphy ALWAYS did whenever we attempted to take him on a walk!

As I sit at my computer, Toffee is never far away — three dog toys lay scattered on the floor nearby and he hovers on either side of me waiting for a scratch, a pet, or just an affirmation of what a good boy he is.

Night times are seamless as Roger goes to bed, Toffee kennels up without a peep.  Each morning he waits silently, but eagerly, for the day to begin.  Sometimes I wonder if he ever sleeps!

The most astounding piece of this new puzzle, however, are the resounding signs from above that Toffee was meant for us — picked especially for us by Elizabeth & Murphy.  Toffee’s foster Mom was named Beth; and the lady who did our final interview and deemed us to be a good adoptive home  was named Liz.  Liz-Beth!  Toffee made his first visit to our home on the 20th of the month — Liz died on the 20th; and we received confirmation that Toffee was ours on the 21st — exactly one month to the day that Murphy died.

Our family will be forever connected no matter where we are!  Love is always in the air!

 

The Love of a Good Dog

2 Apr

It’s been eleven days now since the pitter patter of little feet in our house stopped.  Our Murphy — our 14-1/2 year old Cairn Terrier, passed away on Thursday, March 21st, AT HOME AND WITHOUT PAIN – ALLELUIA!    He has been a member of our family for 14 years and he is dearly missed.  He was there as my girls grew up — through all of the good times and the difficult as well.

We are starting to get use to the fact that he isn’t here … but every once in a while I catch myself thinking he’s going to be laying on our bed as I walk by the bedroom door, or I’ll look out the kitchen window and expect to see him exploring out in the yard.  Every day it gets just a little easier — even though we miss him dearly.

A strange thing happened though — I have always said that when Murphy was gone, there would be no more Wencl dogs.  No other dog could ever compete with the legendary Murphy.  And, while that may very well be true, it hasn’t taken Roger and I  long to realize that we want and need another dog to be a part of our family.  I am very surprised at myself that I’ve come to that conclusion so quickly.  And it’s not that we would be replacing Murphy — no dog could ever do that — it’s more that we have the perfect scenario at our house to give another dog a good home.  I’m home every day, our back yard is completely fenced in, and both Roger and I want to love another dog again.

So, we’ve been searching the net to find another Cairn — an older Cairn.  I don’t want to be chasing another dog down the street after he’s somehow escaped our backyard — I’m too old and out of shape for that!  We found the Colonel Potter Cairn Rescue site and on Sunday after the Easter celebration ended, I filled out our application to adopt.

I was a bit concerned about what daughter Anna would say — and thankfully she was completely on board as well.  Now we wait and see what happens … I long to hear the pitter of Cairn feet on my kitchen floor again and the bark at the door that says I want to go out!  Hopefully, it will happen soon!

So long Murphy Roger Wencl — I know you are smiling down and wagging your tail from above!Murphy Roger Wencl

My struggle with fear … being true

14 Aug

This is my most recent article written for THE EDGE magazine.  Many of the monthly topics they have chosen for this year of 2012 resonate with my soul … http://edgemagazine.net/2012/08/my-struggle-with-fear/

 

After the sudden death of my 20-year old daughter in 2003 amazing experiences of signs and messages from her were all around me.  I was led to an amazing medium and teacher and I began to wonder if these experiences were common —  did this happen to everyone?  I didn’t think so, but I was clueless as to why they were happening to me.  I loved them – they brought me much needed peace and consolation – but why? Please keep them coming I would ask continuously, but again, why?  Eventually I quit asking why and instead my question became what?  “Dear Universe, please show me what you want me to do with these experiences!”

 

I became quite fearful and guarded.  I knew that not everyone would embrace my experiences the way I did and would hardly see them as “Godly.”  In fact, I knew there were some who would say my experiences were most likely “of the devil” – even though the bible was filled with stories of angels and visions and prophesies.

 

The journey to come to terms with my experiences of signs and messages from the dead, working with mediums and harnessing my own intuition was a rocky one.

 

I was so fearful that I would be ostracized for sharing my experiences that it was several years before I could even begin to share them with most my family – most importantly my parents.  I was quite certain they would think that their oldest daughter was delusional and most probably had “gone off the deep end.”

 

I would secretly quiz those I came in contact with to see if I felt they were open to hearing my story.  At times, it was a very lonely and frustrating exercise in futility.

I was at a crossroads.  I knew my experiences were meant to be shared with the world, but how would that happen when I couldn’t even muster the courage to share them with most of my immediate family?

 

I had no answers.  I only knew that The Universe was in charge and when the time was right it would happen.  Of this, I was completely certain.

 

Eventually, my story became “known” and I knew that it was only a matter of time before word reached my parents.  After all, we live in the same town only a block away from each other.  I knew I needed to be the one to share it with them – not some acquaintance out on the street.

 

My experiences had even become part of a book, True Stories of Messages From Beyond, and still my parents were in the dark.

 

It all came to a head at a family reunion.  Several of my cousins and an Aunt and Uncle or two had read my story.  We had no more than exited the car when they approached me and began to share how much they had enjoyed reading my story and how amazing my signs and messages had been.

I would quickly thank them and then pull them aside and whisper that this was all fine and dandy but hey, my folks don’t know anything about this – so don’t mention it to them okay?

 

By the end of the day I knew how absolutely ridiculous the situation had become.

It was clear the time had come to share my secrets.  I dropped Mom and Dad off at their home and returned to mine.  I went into my office and pulled a copy of my book off the shelf.

 

I returned to my childhood home, finding my Mom busy in the kitchen and my Dad enjoying an afternoon nap. “Mom, I said, I have something to tell you and you need to sit down.  “I don’t think you are ready for this, but I wanted you to find out from me and not someone else.”  I laid the book in front of her and she read the cover.  She opened up the pages and saw my story of Elizabeth.

 

Much to my complete shock, she proceeded to tell me that she wasn’t surprised.  She had googled my name a while back and knew all about it!

 

I returned home and no more than an hour later my phone rang – it was Mom — she had already finished reading my story and she told me through her tears how proud and happy she was.

I look back on that time now and all I can do is laugh.  I was so sure that my experiences would be discounted that I didn’t give my family a chance.  I have now come “out of the spiritual closet” and have only encountered a smattering of souls who did not approve of my experiences, and that’s just fine with me … after all everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.  I would never force my personal beliefs on anyone.  All I can continue to do is to share my journey in the hope that perhaps it will help someone else along the way … always with God leading the way.

 

I’ll Never Forget the Day My Life Was Changed

5 Jul

September 20, 2003, was a defining day in my life. In the early morning hours of that Saturday, my daughter Elizabeth and two of her six roommates died of smoke inhalation in their duplex, just blocks from the U of M where they were all beginning their sophomore year.

That day my life was forever changed. One door was slammed shut in my face and I kicked and screamed and begged God to open it again. And he did…not in the same way of course, but in a way that brought me to re-connection and a new way of embracing and viewing the world and a return to JOY.

Those first days were fraught with pain and disbelief…but they also brought me overwhelming clues that all was not lost, that Liz and I would find each other again, in new and amazing ways.

It has been said that when the student is ready, the teacher will follow. This was certainly true in my case. Within two months of my daughter’s passing, I learned of the work of Kathryn Harwig. Kathryn helped Liz and me to forge a new connection. She helped to facilitate a peace and return to joy, along with the absolute knowing that my daughter was indeed safe and happy on the other side of the veil.

My journey, however, had just begun. I slowly realized that the Universe had a bigger plan in place. It took time and patience, but I began to write about my experiences with my daughter – both while she was here and after she left the physical world. Not only did writing aid in my grief healing, but it also brought me to the realization that my journey was meant to be shared with others.

I had absolutely no idea how this would happen; all I knew was that my task was to write. And write I did. I poured out my heart and soul for a solid month. And when I finished, it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders.

Two years later, my story was published in True Stories of Messages From Beyond by Julie Aydlott & Friends. As I held that book in my hands for the first time, it was crystal clear that the Universe had been the author – I had been merely a willing participant.

I began to realize that the lessons I learned were important and I needed to do more than write about them. I needed to speak them. You must know, however, that I have gone through the majority of my life saying that there were certain things I would never do – and public speaking was at the top of my list.

I also felt an intense sense of gratitude to the Universe for giving me the experiences of the past several years – so much so that I was open to putting my fears on the back burner and stepping out in faith to share my story. Once again, I had absolutely no idea how this would happen, but I was confident that, if this was my destiny, the Universe would take care of the details.

On April 20, 2007, my opportunity was at hand. I was the speaker at the monthly Intuitive Forum sponsored by Kathryn Harwig. I had practiced for months, and there were many times when I would question my sanity. How can I possibly speak, not only in public, but speak about the most painful experiences of my life? Could I speak with emotion, but without becoming emotional? In truth, I didn’t know. All l knew was that I had prepared myself the best I could and now I needed to let the Universe take over.

I followed my gut and it went off without a hitch. It truly felt like an out-of-body experience, and it brought about a huge sense of complete euphoria. I had accomplished the task I had been given and it felt so good! In a strange way, I had even enjoyed it!

I have learned so much about myself and the world around me since that painful, life-changing September day. The Universe has a plan for each of us. It can take us into uncharted, scary waters. But we are never alone. All we have to do is pay attention and follow — work hard, and offer yourself up in service to others. You will receive gifts you could never have imagined.

It has been almost nine years since that fateful day, and life for me is joyous! I continue to write, speak, and share my journey with anyone who will listen.

When the Universe opens your door, do not be afraid. Step forth boldly and you will go on a journey that you never could have imagined.

Copyright © 2012 Kim Wencl. All Rights Reserved.  This article was published in the July 2012 edition of THE EDGE.  http://edgemagazine.net/2012/07/ill-never-forget/

Wake Me Up When September Ends?

12 Aug

In a few short days,  the month of September will be upon us.  As I type these words, I can physically feel my stomach flip-flopping and a knot beginning to form.  What’s wrong with September you ask?  Technically … nothing  … I do enjoy the last days of summer and the soon-to-be fall weather.

But my oldest daughter’s birthday and the day she died are both in the month of September.  September brings up so many memories … both the good and the painful.

On September 12th my Elizabeth would be 28 years old.  What would she be doing with her life, I so often wonder.  Where would she be living, what career would she have chosen?  Would she be married?  Would she have any children?  Would she have dealt with the demons that plagued her in the last years of her life?  These are all questions that will forever remain unanswered.

On September 20th we will mark the eighth anniversary of her death as well as the deaths of Amanda and Brian, two of her six roommates.  Three young lives gone in an instant as the result of a fire in their old wooden duplex just a few blocks from the University of Minnesota where they were all just beginning their adult lives.  So much promise … so many dreams and hopes gone in an instant.

So, what do I do?  I could continue to focus on what is no longer possible … and, trust me, I do that on occasion.  I think it’s necessary and I owe it to Liz.  To sweep it all under the rug and pretend it never happened not only is a disservice to my daughter, but it is also a disservice to me.  Revisiting the pain is necessary and part of my grieving process.  The key, however, is only to visit, not remain stuck in it.

What is also necessary is to focus on the twenty years I had with my daughter.  The times she made me laugh, made me smile, made me so mad I could hardly see straight — the good times as well as the bad.  I remember that Elizabeth’s life was so much more than the way that she died.  In the end, all I can do is smile because when it is all said and done the only thing that really matters is how much we love each other.  Love wins out over pain and heartache in the end.

There is a song by Green Day called, Wake Me Up When September Ends.  My husband has commented that he would like nothing better than to go to sleep on August 31st and wake up on October 1st.  And, even though I breathe a big sigh of relief when the calendar turns to October, I would never wish not to have September.

So in a few days I will focus on remembering.  I will honor her each and every day  – in some small ways and maybe even some big ways.  I will celebrate her and love her for what she is and will always be, my beloved first-born daughter.  Death can never change that – nor can it erase the love that we will always share.

“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”  Alfred Lord Tennyson

Intuition Versus Self Talk

8 Nov

Many of my readers are familiar with my spiritual teacher, mentor, and friend Kathryn Harwig.  She recently wrote a piece that is a very common-sense, down-to-earth expose on intuition.  I liked it so much I asked her permission to reprint it here:

Recently someone asked me, “How do I know if the information I am getting is coming from my intuition or from my own self talk?”  This is a very good question, and one that everyone who is serious about being intuitive needs to ask on occasion.  It is a challenge to be intuitive about yourself and most of us find that it is far easier to give someone else a psychic reading than to give ourselves good intuitive advice.

Why?  Because our own hopes, dreams, worries and fears tend to get in the way of our hearing our inner psychic, at least when we are asking for information for ourselves.  Many people solve this dilemma, at least in part, by consulting with other psychics.  But, we also want and need to use our intuition to make our own lives better.  So, it is necessary, I think, to be able to distinguish the voice of our inner self talk and the quiet voice of our intuitive wisdom.

I attended a talk once where the speaker said that our unconscious mind was unable to hear the word “Not”.  Her point was that when we make affirmations such as, “I do NOT want to be fat”, our unconscious mind only hears, “I am fat.”  I don’t know if this is true or not, but, upon reflection, I realized that my intuition almost never uses the word “not.”

I will hear, for example, “take this route to work” rather than “do NOT take your usual route”, or, “make this telephone call” rather than, “do NOT call this person.”  My “tips for better living” mind, on the other hand, is always telling me what not to do.  Thus, when I hear advice about what not to do, I am generally certain it is coming from the part of me that is fearful about something, rather than my intuition.

Another way I differentiate between intuition and self talk is that intuition speaks without emotion.  It often “hits” out of the blue with no relationship to what I am doing or even thinking about it.  It comes as an emotionless statement in my mind, or a mental picture or even a physical sensation.  Seldom though, does it carry a strong emotional charge with it. Even when I see, in my minds eye, something that would normally frighten me, I am able to view it intuitively as if I am watching a movie that doesn’t involve me.

My inner voice though, seems to thrive on emotion.  When I think about something and ruminate on it, I tend to feel a lot of emotions.  Whether the emotion I feel is excitement, joy, fear or worry is irrelevant.  Feeling that type of emotion along with a thought is a clue to me that the thought is not an intuitive message.

Another clue is that intuitive information tends to come without any value judgment attached to it.  My intuition gives me messages without any sense of “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong.”  Sometimes, after getting this information, my conscious mind jumps in, placing judgment on what I have received.  But, the actual vision or words or feelings never carry a sense of rightness or wrongness.  That is because intuitive information is valueless.  It is never right or wrong…good or bad.  It simply is.

Not long ago I got an email from some one who had heard me giving intuitive insights to audience members.  Her email said, “How do you differentiate between common sense and intuition?  When I listened to your intuitive messages, I thought, “this is just common sense advice.”

She made a very good point.  As I pondered that I thought, “Where does common sense come from?”  We talk about “common sense” as if it is something we can define and understand, but what is it, exactly?  I laughed to myself when I realized that common sense is just another way to describe intuition.  It is that wiser part of ourself that “just knows things.”

How do you tell what is intuition and what is self talk?  I would love to hear from you!

Blessings, Kathryn

http://www.harwig.com

From Tragedy to Transformation – A Mother’s Story

26 May

After many months of waiting and anticipation on my part, I’m happy to announce that I have an article in the June edition of THE EDGE – SOUL OF THE CITIES magazine.   This is the twin cities premiere metaphysical magazine.

As many of you know, for the past six years, Kathryn Harwig has my teacher, my mentor, and my friend.  I would not be where I am today if Kathryn had not come into my life.

So I wasn’t surprised when I read Kathryn’s article – just a few pages beyond mine.  They tie in together quite nicely I think and of course this is yet another example of how The Universe works.  I was getting impatient and wondering whether my article would ever be published.  Now I understand why it happened when it did.

Another lesson for me in trusting that The Universe has it all under control.

http://soulofthecities.net/digital/2010/06/

See page 12-13 and page 16.

And, have a GREAT day!