Owning All of Life: 45 Life Lessons

2 Nov

I found this on another blog and thought it was so good I had to post here as well.
It was written by Regina Brett, a pulitzer nominated columnist with The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio.

Regina wrote this on the occasion of her fiftieth birthday in 2006. It offers good advice on owning surrender, being ourselves, going with the flow and living life in joy!

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will, so stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up your present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But, don’t worry, God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath, it calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now, don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself too seriously, no one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day, miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow – but it is still a gift.

WHAT LIFE LESSONS HAVE YOU LEARNED?

Enjoy the day!

What Do You Think – Coincidence or Connection?

28 Oct

I’m always so glad when I see media pieces that talk about after death communication.

Today I saw two completely different, but very stunning examples.

On THE TODAY Show this morning, a story ran about a little girl named Elena who died from cancer in 2007.  After her death, her parents and younger sister began to find notes all over the house telling them how much Elena loved them.  And, it wasn’t just a few notes here and there.  To date they have three large plastic containers full of notes.

They even found notes that were sealed in envelopes which they have chosen not to open so they will always have an unread note available from their daughter.

Meredith Viera asked them if they thought Elena somehow knew of her impending death, even though as parents they had chosen not to tell her.  Their reply was that they sincerely hoped not and they choose to believe that she did not.

Receiving these notes has been very healing for this family and has helped them on the road to acceptance and peace.

I believe that we all know everything that is going to happen – but we know it on such a deep level that we would consciously never ever access it – but some part of our soul does know.

Here is the story from TODAY if you would like to see it:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

The second stunning example happened on The Oprah Show this afternoon.  The Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol showed up and chose someone from the audience to receive $25,000 .

A woman’s name was read off and she came excitedly to the stage.  During the commercial break, she told Oprah that she knew her husband was responsible for this wonderful surprise.

She explained that she had had Oprah show tickets since 2007 but because of her husband’s illness, they hadn’t been able to use them until now.  She went on to say that before her husband passed away on September 9th, they had discussed ways in which they could still continue to communicate with each other after her husband had passed.

Another marvelous example of our loved ones sending something wonderful into our lives – but more importantly letting us know that they are indeed alive and well, and living marvelous new lives.  I’ll bet for that woman having that knowing about her husband is worth more to her than winning the $25,000.

Check out Oprah’s video to watch it all unfold.

Now there will always be those who will say that these are simply just coincidences … and of course they have every right to believe that if they choose to.

For my money – these are both stunning examples of the connection we all have with those we love.  Love is a bond that can never be broken … not even by death!

And that is the best news of all!

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Another Opportunity to Share My Story

27 Oct

I had the opportunity yesterday to be a guest on Achieve Radio with Nancy Wallace.

The show has been archived and it can be accessed at

http://www.achieveradio.com/archplayer.php?showname=The M

Enjoy your day!

Kim

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How Will You Spend Your Dash?

19 Oct

I found this beautiful youtube video on my facebook page this morning and felt it was worth adding to my blog as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsY6UrFIsNs

No News Is Good News

18 Oct

My daughter Anna is always telling me that I need to post more.

While she may be right, after all it’s been almost one month since my last post, I don’t think she is.

In order to post I need to have something interesting to post about.  No one wants to hear of the ordinary, mundane acitvities of my life. 

The past month has been fairly non-eventful as far as amazing experiences is concerned.  And, that’s not a bad thing.  I take joy in the ordinary, every days now.

Within the last month I have attended a mini-family reunion on the Wencl side.  I got a flu shot on a Friday and by Monday night I could tell I was getting sick with …. the flu.  I’ve been under the weather for the past 2-1/2 weeks now; and while I am better, I still have a nagging cough that just doesn’t want to leave.

I spent a couple days with my sister in Redwood Falls.  Anna and I had lunch and went shopping this past Friday.

All very normal, every day occurrences that everyone does and I really find no need to initiate a post about.

But it reminds me that most of our lives are normal and very ordinary.  But, I like ordinary.  I enjoy the quietness and the solitude of my life now.

If amazing, extraordinary things happened all of the time, they would no longer  be amazing or extraordinary.

So enjoy the day – enjoy the mundane and the ordinary because they are wonderful gifts as well.

My Days In D.C.

22 Sep

I’m back from spending five wonderful days in our nation’s capital. I had never been there before and was able to see many things I have only dreamt about for many years.

The purpose of my trip was two-fold. The main purpose was to partner with Campus Firewatch and promote fire safety issues on college campuses across the country.

On Thursday we kicked off the day with a press conference which included speeches by Congressmen, Bill Pascrell of New Jersey and Joe Wilson of North Carolina.

The highlight was the speech given by Edye Smith, a parent like me, who lost her son in an off-campus house fire.

The second part of the day consisted of breaking up into groups of fire personnel, current college students, and parents.

My group visited staffers of Cong. Keith Ellison, Sen. Al Franken, and Sen. Amy Klobuchar, all of whom represent my state of Minnesota.

We were able to convey the urgency of continued education on fire prevention, along with the need to offer incentives for landlords to improve their rental units by adding sprinklers.

There are currently two pieces of legislation that address both of these issues.

It was such a personal day for me. To be able to share the life of my daughter and share her picture with people who never knew her, six years after her death, just boggles my mind and brings me such happiness and peace.

My intention is to spend the rest of my life honoring her and to have the opportunity to work to improve the lives of today’s students is very comforting and rewarding.

And, it was also a wonderful opportunity to see first-hand the workings of our government. The fact that most people never have this kind of opportunity was always on my mind throughout the day.

On the second leg of my trip was spent with my daughter Anna and her best friend Stephanie. Roger and I consider Stephanie to be our unoffical third daughter.

We crammed alot of sight seeing into two full days. The weather was absolutely beautiful and we had a grand time. Here is a list of what we accomplished:

toured the Capitol, including the Rotunda

toured the Supreme Court (saw Judge Sotomayor’s new chair).

visited the Smithsonian to see a Lincoln exhibit, dresses of the First Ladies, and Julia Child’s kitchen.

We visited the White House and saw the First Dog, Bo Obama, out on his afternoon walk! (I was really hoping to see Barack or Michelle, but hey I’m happy we did get to see one member of the Obama family!)

We went to the top of the Washington monument where you can see the entire District as well as Virginia and Maryland.

We ate at a favorite hang out of the Obamas, Good Stuff Eatery, and enjoyed the best hamburger and fries I have ever had … and the beer was great too!

We spent most of Sunday the 20th at Arlington National Cemetery; we visited the graves of JFK, Robert and Ted Kennedy.

We also had amazing seats to watch the changing of the guard at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

I thought about Liz alot that day because it was the 6th anniversary of her death. It seemed fitting that we should spend the day at Arlington.

As we sat in the trolley waiting to start our tour we noticed that the gentleman sitting right next to me had a large butterfly tattoo on his forearm. We all smiled because we knew it was a sign that Liz was with us in spirit.

We returned home Sunday night, very tired, but very very happy.

To view pictures of the trip click on the links below.

My Day On The Hill – 9/17/09

Sightseeing Marathon – 9/18 – 9/20

Time for Transition

14 Sep

I’m ready for a change of season. As much as I love the sun and the summer days, I’m ready for 50’s and 60’s and sweatshirts and blankets.

I’m ready to make hotdishes and soups and hot tea and cider.

I’m tired of my summer flowers. So much so, I quit watering them, much to the dismay of the other members of my family. I’m ready for something different – mums and pumpkins and scarecrows.

It’s time to part with the old and bring in something new!

Today

12 Sep

As I write this it is 8:40 am, I’ve been up for almost three hours … I so enjoy the quiet and peacefulness of early morning both inside my home and outside on my patio.

But why am I feeling so completely exhausted and heavy? After all, I’m getting plenty of sleep these days.

Of course I know the reason – today is Liz’s birthday. 26 years ago my beautiful girl came into the world. And it wasn’t an easy entry. She was born on a Monday at 6:00 pm. I had been in labor for most of the weekend. We finally went to the hospital late Sunday night. And, although my contractions continued to get stronger and stronger and closer and closer together, I was making little progress. It was the most physically painful day of my life.

Finally the decsion was made to do a C-section, and my girl was born. She had a huge head of wild black hair and the biggest blue eyes ever.

She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. And at only a few hours old, her very strong personality was already coming through.

My parents came to see their first grandchild. As they looked through the window of the nursery, Liz lifted up her head and looked right at them, as if to say, “Here I am.”

She made our life “interesting” for the next 20 years. And “interesting” is not always a good thing … but most of the time it was.

We will mark her departure from this earth in eight days.

But all in all, even though I’m sad for what could have been, I’m also very happy for what still is.

And that is that Liz is still very much a part of my life. I know she is still very much a cheerleader – leading me, pushing me on to do things I never would have considered had she not left as she did.

The glass is more than half full – it is overflowing – and for that I will be enternally grateful.

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Promoting Fire Safety for Today’s College Students

28 Aug

Yesterday Anna and I had the opportunity to do a news story about Liz, the fire that took her life, and our lives since that day.

The main focus was to alert current students who are just moving into off-campus housing.

Getting them to realize and take seriously their own personal safety is a tough sell.

But all we can do is keeping repeating it at every opportunity.

Here is a link to our story:

http://kstp.com/news/stories/S1107818.shtml?cat=20

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Remembering Liz

24 Aug

When someone you love dies, you yearn to keep their memory alive for as many people you can and for as long as you can. I am continually amazed at how this continues to happen as we inch closer to the six year anniversary of Liz’s death.

Last night at our county fair, the biggest and best county fair in the state, it happened again. For the second year, the Alumni Cheer Team performed a stunting routine in memory of Liz. Fair Square Park was filled to capacity with people taking in the last few hours of the fair. The girls wore shirts with IN MEMORY OF LIZ WENCL emblazed on the back. Before they performed they talked about Liz and her love of cheerleading.

I’m so incredibly grateful to these girls. To think that some of them have been out of school for eight years now, and they still take the time to do something so special. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

But something else happened last night – something totally unexpected.

I got to hear another story of Liz’s continued connection to her friends.

As we waited for the cheerleading exposition to begin we were sitting next to one of Liz’s closest high school friends. I had just learned that she was engaged and I congratulated her on her beautiful ring and wedding plans.

She said, “oh, I just have to tell you what happened.”

She went on to say that she had absolutely no idea a proposal was coming when her boyfriend asked her to go for a walk so he could show her this “really big deer” he had seen.

They began to walk and a monarch butterfly appeared and flitted around them. It was the first monarch she had seen all summer and it immediately brought Liz to her mind. A few minutes later, her boyfriend popped the question and presented her with a beautiful diamond ring.

She told me she knew that when the butterfly arrived, it was Liz’s way of letting her know she was present and aware of the happiness that had just taken place.

It made me smile to hear, and again I just shake my head because Liz’s friends really “get it.” A lone butterfly could have been completely ignored … instead it did exactly what it was intended to do.

Way to go Liz!!

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