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When in Doubt — Choose Love

20 Mar

When everything is said and done, there are really only two emotions that we have:  love and fear.  How we choose to react to people and experiences in our lives is with some form of either of these two emotions.  Hurt, anger, lonliness, are all forms of fear.  Compassion, faith, helpfulness, are all a part of love.

We always are free to choose how we respond to everything in our lives.  And however we respond sends ripples out into the world to other people and other situations.

Consider for a moment how different our world would be if we all chose love instead of fear.  It would be a heaven right here on earth.

Consider also that everyone on the planet is important and has a purpose.  Whatever we do, no matter how small or insignificant we feel it to be, changes our world.

We’ve all heard the saying, you change the world one person at a time.  What if, we each tried to respond in love … we could change the world. 

Check out this you tube video by Susan Apollon … have a great day – YOU are important … choose LOVE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW0ViDkEoyE&feature=email

The End of an Era

7 Feb

Yesterday was my last day at SPX.  After 34 years and ten months,, it ended just as I had always hoped that it would – in joy, and on my terms.

I can’t say enough good things about SPX.  It has played an enormous role in my life.  It brought me my husband, a wonderful life that afforded me the opportunity to have and raise my daughters, buy a home, and travel on occasion.  SPX was there for me in the good times like my wedding and the birth of my children, but they were also there during the most painful time of my life, the death of my daughter Liz.  And they did more than just send flowers and sympathies.

SPX gave Roger and I as much time off (with pay) as we needed.  But they also went above and beyond … they paid for the food after the funeral.  It was totally unexpected and something we will never forget and will always be grateful for. 

We felt the love and support of the entire company as we dealt with this most painful of events.  And it didn’t stop a month or two after the funeral. 

It’s always oh so easy to sit back and criticize the company and/or the people that you work for.  I’ve done it many times over the years.  But when you look at the big picture, I think we  have a tendency to sell our employers short … or always look at the negative instead of all the positive opportunities they present to us as employees.

So … THANKS SPX …. you gave a shy, quiet 19 year old kid a job and it became a wonderful life.   I could not have asked for anything more.

God is Good!

18 Dec

Some really fun things have happened this week for Liz and me! 

First of all, our Christmas card.  I was so happy that even though Liz’s physical presence has been gone for over 5 yrs now, ways still arise for her to be a part of our Christmas card.

This year’s picture was taken on 9-20-08 at the tree planted in Liz-Brian-Amanda’s memory at Van Cleve Park.  When I was at the store ordering the pictures I hurredly picked out the picture and type and writing that would accompany it.

It wasn’t until some days later that the significance of what I had chosen hit me.

There is a single angel and the words, Christmas Blessings from The Wencl’s.  I always intentionally put from The Wencl’s because then it always includes Liz (at least in my mind).  And the single angel is representative of her new life as well as her continued presence in ours.  It doesn’t get any better than that in my world.

On Tuesday the premiere edition of MIDWEST CAREGIVE came out.  It featured my story THE LETTER.  And one entire page has Liz’s smiling persona on it.  I have wanted to get that story printed since the day I wrote it and now it’s happened.

It is our hope that Liz and my story will bring comfort to those who have suffered loss … with God’s help anything is possible!

Remembering …

21 Nov

I’m remembering some significant things right now.  Five years ago yesterday I waited with anticipation for a sign from Liz that I was so sure I would get … but didn’t.  My perception that she would give me a sign on the 20th of each month had to be abandoned …  Damn.   Friday, Nov. 21st, was just a regular day.  I did what I always do … including falling asleep on our family room couch.  Only I woke up … the TV was on channel 5 … but for some reason I grabbed the remote and changed the channel to WCCO.  It was all done very mechanically and without any thought.

After Liz died I vowed that I would never again watch Channel 4 news.  They were the only station that came to our doorstep the night Liz died, rang our doorbell, and asked to speak to us.  Are you kidding me?  Our daughter died today – what on earth do you expect us to say?

When my remote clicked 4 and the screen changed, I saw a cemetery scene, and the camera zoomed in on a gravesite.  There was a windchime at that gravesite that was identifical to the windchime we had at Liz’s grave.  It got my attention, and I wondered what the story would be.  I knew I had to watch it.

The story was about a woman who lived in Minneapolis and she could communicate with people who had died.  I just couldn’t believe it.  They showed her in a room with 3 other people, and she went to each one and gave them very specific information about their loved one.

I woke up the next morning wondering whether it had all been a dream.  I didn’t even know this woman’s name.  I went to my computer and brought up the WCCO website and searched for some evidence of that story the night before … but I found absolutely nothing.  The only thing I found was the email address of the reporter who had done the story.  I decided to send her an email.  I told her who I was, and that my daughter had been one of the U of M students who had died in that house fire a couple of months ago.  I had seen her story last night about the woman who speaks to the dead.  Did she know if this woman did this for regular people … and if so, how could I contact her?

I sent off the email and to my surprise I received a reply just a couple hours later.  Her name is Kathryn Harwig, Randi told me, and I’m sure she would see you.  Randi gave me Kathryn’s personal email address and told me to tell Kathryn she had sent me.  As it turned out, Randi had gone to Kathryn to speak to her father who had passed from suicide the previous year.  It was amazing she said, and it had helped her tremendously … and she was a different person because of it.

It took me a couple of days to get up the courage to email Kathryn … but I did … I was careful not to give her much information.  All I said was that I had lost someone close to me … did she do readings for people?  Kathryn responded very quickly as well, and the first thing she said to me was how sorry she was for my loss.  Yes, she did readings for people and her website would give me all of the pertinent details.

Immediately I went to that website.  The first thing that came up was her  biography.  I read it and just about fell off my chair.  Kathryn’s college majors had been psychology and sociology … the same as Liz’s.  Kathryn had also attended the U of M to get her masters in criminal justice, and she worked for many years supervising dangerous criminals.  Liz’s career goal was to become a criminal psychologist and work with dangerous criminals!

I was stunned … the similarities between Liz and Kathryn were overwhelming in my mind and I took it as a HUGE sign that Liz was in on this and she would come through for me.  Why Kathryn even drove a Saturn!  I laughed uncontrollably when I read that.  We had a Saturn for nine years.  It was to become Liz’s car … until she had an accident and totalled it out. 

This event was the beginning of a marvelous new life for me and new way of thinking and perceiving the world that has been nothing but JOYOUS! 

Sadly, November 22, 2003 also reminds me of loss.  JFK was assassinated 40 years ago.  And, I remember so vividly hearing the first news reports of a college aged girl named Dru who was missing and feared abducted.  Having lost my own college age daughter two months earlier, the story resonated in my soul.  However, we were lucky … we knew where Liz was.  The Sjodin’s were in a hellish limbo until the following April when Dru’s body was found.

Linda Walker, Dru’s mom, has done her best to be sure her daughter did not die in vain.  Check out her website:  http://drusvoice.com

Linda is proof that through terrible tragedy, loss, and excruciating pain … we can still make a difference in our world.  I’m remembering Linda, her family and most of all Dru and wishing them peace.

A Sure Way to Make A Difference

2 Jul

I’m always looking for ways to make a positive difference in the world and with people in general.  I’ve longed to do more to support charities … but how do you know for sure that the money you donate really goes to those who really need it?  I’ve always struggled with that. 

I believe I have found what I have been looking for!  The organization is called KIVA.  I first heard about it when Bill Clinton was on OPRAH over a year ago.  I checked it out then, added it to my favorites list, and knew there would come a time when I would be ready to get involved.

KIVA brings people together — those who need help – with those who can help.  And you don’t need to be a millionaire to make a difference.  What’s even better, you aren’t just giving them a hand out … you really are giving them a hand up, as they say.  You loan them whatever you want … as little as $25 … and over a period of a year they repay you.

You can choose who you want to help … what country … it’s all available … and you get periodic updates on how they are progressing.  You can also be linked to everyone else around the world who partners with you to make a difference.  IT IS SO COOL!  I’m so excited!

I’ve made 3 loans in the past week, click on the links below to read about my new partners.

 http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=54041

http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=54399

 http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=54998