Tag Archives: parents


30 Jun

I’ve been asked a lot lately if I still get signs from Liz.

I’m happy to report that I do. But it’s not like you might think.

I have no control over when a sign will come. Early on, I was obsessed and would wake up each day wondering if something would happen.

That’s very normal for new grief – and I’m certain that Liz needed to send me signs just as much as I wanted and needed to receive them.

And I have to state the obvious here — I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know why I have received so much when others in similar situations feel they have received no communication from their loved ones.

Alot depends on the loved one on the other side. Alot depends on the openness of the people left here on earth to look beyond what they can see and touch.

The signs she sent in those first days, weeks, and months were not always for me. In looking back, that was a very good thing. It brought validity to them. If I had been the only one to receive signs I and others probably would have questioned my sanity.

But she reached out to her friends and her family and spread it around. Those she chose really “got it” and most importantly were not afraid to share their experience. That is huge.

I went through a stage where I tried to get her to do something on a particular day and time. It didn’t work and was particularly frustrating and just plain made me mad.

But it made me realize and finally accept the fact that I can’t control this. It is completely out of my control. Once I had that realization, I was able to come to the conclusion that I had to be thankful for the experiences I had already received. And, eventually I was able to accept the fact that even if I never got another thing from her, it would be ok.

I knew without any doubt whatsoever that Liz lives on. Not only does she live on, she’s extremely happy and she is doing important work. I no longer feel any need to worry about her. As a parent that is HUGE!

So, getting back to signs. No, I never know when one will come. But they pop up every now and then – usually when I least expect them. And, they are a wonderful surprise.

I was told early on to “expect the unexpected” where Liz is concerned. That certainly was true when she was physically here … and it still rings true today.

We have a bond that is unbreakable. I feel now, after almost six years without her physical presence, that we are closer than ever.

We are a team – stronger than we ever would have been together on earth. She knows what I do not. God is the playwright and we the actors – and by sharing our experiences with others, it promotes hope, promise and healing.

We’ve all heard the statement that “everything happens for a reason.”

From my perspective that is essentially true. Although things happen that we don’t like and that are completely and totally unfair … but that is life.

What we do with those losses are what counts. And it is always our choice.

We can be sad, angry, resentful and unhappy for a time or for the rest of our earthly lives if we choose to.

We can also learn from our pain, use it for good and reach out to help others.

We can choose to live our lives in love or in fear.

Make good choices — choose love!