Tag Archives: Life Experiences

I’m Back!

20 Nov

I really didn’t think I had much to write about over the past six years since I wrote my last post. After all, I was happily retired and totally enjoying my life! But, these past couple of months, I have felt very restless and began to yearn for my next “assignment” from the Universe. Do I have another assignment, I wondered? Maybe I’ve done what I’m supposed to do, and I can now just sit back and enjoy my life. Believe me, part of me is completely fine with that. But on a soul level, my gut tells me there is more work to be done and I’m itching to get started. I’m (mostly) a rule follower, and I’m always looking to what’s next — what else am I suppose to be doing God? I do believe that this is starting to reveal itself and I’m giddy and excited, just like I was 20+ years ago when so many experiences were coming my way after the sudden death of my beloved first daughter, Elizabeth.

I hope you’ll join me on this new journey … until then, stay tuned!

Blessings & Love,

Kim

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Happy 84th Birthday Dad!

6 Feb Our Family Photo is complete!

It seems fitting that today, on the occasion of my Dad’s 84th birthday, that I revisit the amazing experience my family and I shared four years ago when we gathered together to mark Dad’s 80th birthday.  Time always marches on, and we tend to let important events slip into the recesses of memory … until something happens to trigger then.  I think that is why I have done so much writing in the past 12 years.  Once you write something down, you can let it take a back seat to every day life.  But, on those occasions when you want to bring back the memories, all you need do is look back on what was written and the feelings come rushing back. 

GIFT FOR GRANDPA

I was excited as I awoke early that Sunday morning. Today all of my plans and preparations would come full circle. In a short while we would begin to celebrate my Dad’s 80th birthday. Dad doesn’t like a lot of fuss, but he good-naturedly went along with all of our plans.

I had managed to get his birthday celebration on our local 10 pm news. I had slept right through it, but many people let Dad know that they had seen it. A picture of Dad was in today’s paper announcing his milestone birthday. And there were flowers on the altar at church …. all in honor of Dad.

Our family would gather at a restaurant later in the day to celebrate Dad and honor the role he plays in so many lives. I had hoped to secure a private room at the restaurant, but when I checked early in the week, nothing was available. I was disappointed, but I knew the party would still be the grand celebration I wanted it to be.

We arrived at the restaurant and followed the hostess to our table. Much to my surprise and amazement we had somehow managed to get our own private room after all. We were free to talk and laugh and carry on without disturbing anyone. Two of my favorite cousins – Dawn and Beth, were also joining us. They loved my Dad and were very close to him.

As we finished our meal with an extravagant chocolate dessert we all raised our glasses and toasted Dad. He smiled from ear to ear and got a little teary as he told us how proud he was of his family and how much he loved us.

Beth worked for a photographer and she busily snapped photos throughout our time at the restaurant. As we got ready to leave, we all stood proudly around Dad and took a family photo — something we had not done for a very long time.

Despite the happiness of the day, I couldn’t help but be sad. If only Elizabeth were here I thought to myself – then this day would be perfect. Our 20-year old Elizabeth, our first-born daughter and granddaughter, had died in a fire while attending college in 2003. Even though almost nine years had passed there would always be an empty chair at our family table that no one but Elizabeth could fill. And, it was especially difficult today when we were celebrating such a happy occasion.

The next day I received an email from Beth thanking me for inviting her, and she included some of the photos she had taken. She told me she was concerned when she downloaded the photos and brought the first one up, only to see a large white spot just above my head and on my husband’s arm.

Beth was dismayed and she wondered how this could have happened – would this spot ruin all of the pictures?

As she slowly viewed each picture, she was relieved to see that the white spot was found only on that first photo of our family. As Beth stared at the photo, suddenly it dawned on her – if Elizabeth had been here she would have been standing in the exact place where that white spot had been. Could it be she wondered?

I didn’t have to wonder — I knew. What a wonderful gift Elizabeth had given to her family, especially her Grandpa. I printed off the photo and excitedly asked my Dad to stop over, “I have one last gift for you I told him.”

He came into my kitchen and gently scolded me – “Kimmie, he said, I don’t need any more birthday presents! Everything you gave me yesterday was wonderful.” “Oh, I think you’ll want this one Dad, I said, – but you’d better sit down first.”

He sat down at the table with a quizzical look on his face. I laid Beth’s email in front of him, which said:

Here are 2 pictures from yesterday, I have to correct the lighting on some of the others and then will send more. Can you BELIEVE the first one? I’m not kidding when I tell you that I have NEVER had a white spot show up like that before. Dawn was with me when I downloaded them and we were looking through them. When I first saw it I said “darn it look at that spot on there”, totally expecting it to be on a whole bunch of them….then i go to the next one and it’s gone and it didn’t show up again. Dawn and I looked at each other in disbelief and said “Liz was there too!!”

I quietly laid the photo down and Dad stared at it for a few minutes and then was overcome with emotion, as he realized the significance of the white spot. We both shed tears of joy at the thought that our beloved Elizabeth had been with us yesterday on such a special day. Love never dies, and the bond we all share with those we love is never broken …. not even by death!

 

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The Blessed Gift of Liz’s Presence

1 Oct

I have been very blessed during 2012 to have the opportunity to write several articles for Minnesota’s leading Holistic/Metaphysical Magazine called THE EDGE.  Here is my latest piece … The Blessed Gift of Liz’s Presence.

** ** ** ** ** **

Many extraordinary experiences have come my way since my daughter’s sudden and tragic death nine years ago. Very early on, when I needed it most, I was shown unequivocally that Elizabeth was alive in spirit and living a new life filled with joy and happiness. These signs and experiences brought me the peace and validation I so desperately needed in order to go on with life again.

However, there came a point when I no longer needed any validation that Liz was still very much a part of my life and always would be. Gone were the days when I would wake up each morning and ask for a sign that day. It was no longer necessary. Liz didn’t need to prove her continued existence to me — she had done so many times over, and I was confident in that reality.

I also worried that I might somehow hold her back if I continued to need constant affirmation of our connection. It took time, but eventually I was ready to completely let her go. We were both in good places…we were always aware of the strong bond of love that would always unite us. We knew where to find each other if we really needed to. So, one morning as I meditated, I took a deep breath and told Elizabeth that I was setting her free. I no longer wanted her to cling so closely to me. She was free to go and do whatever heavenly tasks awaited her.

Life went on and each day brought new joys. Family has always played a very important role in my life. As the oldest of four children and living only one block from my parents for the past thirty years, life has always been about family — celebrating our triumphs, achievements and milestones and supporting each other in our failures, disappointments and losses.

My father’s 80th birthday was just a few months away and I planned a gathering of our family at a local restaurant. I secretly hoped we’d have a private room, but after a couple of calls, it didn’t look very promising. I was disappointed, but I knew the party would still be special — but I sure was hoping for our own room!

The day of the party dawned and we all headed to the restaurant. As the waitress led us to our table, I was pleasantly surprised when we were directed into this large, beautiful room set with a beautiful table and a roaring fireplace. We had our own space after all! I was overjoyed, and it wasn’t until much later that I really began to wonder just how that had come to be.

My cousin, also named Elizabeth, joined us, and she brought along her camera. In addition to working for a photographer, Beth is also an avid picture taker on her own. She took many candid shots during dinner. As the celebration came to an end, we all gathered around the fireplace for one last group photo.

The next day, I received an urgent email from Beth. “You have to see this picture” she told me. “You are not going to believe it!” I opened the photos and perused them all. They were wonderful and really captured the joy we all had as we helped Dad celebrate his special day.

“There’s just one more you need to see,” Beth wrote. I opened the last photo and there was the group picture we had taken in front of the fireplace, just before we left. I slowly scanned the page and was happy to see that we all looked really good! But my eyes stopped abruptly and my breath caught in my throat — and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Just above my head, next to my husband, was a huge orb. It literally took my breath away as the realization of what it meant hit me. Beth realized it, too.

“Liz was with us, too,” she told me, and I absolutely knew that was true. It was Liz’s sister, Anna, who reminded me that if Liz had been physically with us, she probably would have been standing right where the orb had been.

“Can you believe it, Mom?” Anna excitedly asked me.

“Yes, Anna, I can believe it.”

Even though I had vowed to let Liz go, she still chose to join us for this special time. As I showed the photo to my father, tears filled his eyes.

“This is the best birthday gift I could ever have been given,” he told me, as he hugged me tight.

As I thought about everything that happened that day, so many things came together. My cousin Elizabeth joined us. If she hadn’t been there, no pictures would have been taken. The private room — how had we mysteriously ended up with it? How could this have happened? We each now have a reprint of this picture in our homes, and as I look at that beautiful picture each day, I smile — because I know the answer — it is love.

Copyright © 2012 Kim Wencl. All Rights Reserved.

http://edgemagazine.net/2012/10

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Eight

9 Sep

The number eight has been rolling around in my brain for the past few days.  I assumed it was because we will soon be marking the eighth anniversary of my daughter’s death.

However, it dawned on me yesterday that there was more to it than that.  I realized that September 12th would have been her 28th birthday and eight days after her birthday is the 20th – the day she died – eight years ago.

As all of those realities sank in, I began to see the number eight in my mind’s eye.  And I began to pay attention.

Notice that once you put your pen on paper you can make an eight in one fluid motion and you have two circles that intersect one on top of the other.  This is a metaphor for the relationship that Liz and I continue to share.

Our lives will always intersect.  She will always play a part in my life and I will always play a part in hers.  Each circle represents one of us.  The top circle represents Liz because she is now on a higher plain than I am.  Her energy vibrates at a much higher level than mine does.  She has moved on to a higher plain of existence or heaven, so she is the top circle – I continue my work here on earth so I represent the bottom circle – we are in different worlds – but yet still solidly connected.

Look again at the eight — it is like a path that can be followed.  You may start out at the top and work your way down (to earth) and then continue to go back up — Liz did that.  Or you can start at the top and continue down and follow the same road as long as you need to and then you switch lanes and move up — but whatever your path you always remain connected.

Whenever September rolls around I try to make sense of things — but most of the time there is no sense to be made — it just is.  Choices were made and consequences followed — for both of us.  But what gives me comfort and solace today is the gentle nudge that I believe Liz is giving me to remember that just like the number eight our lives will always be intersecting with each other.  And one day, when my job here is complete I will move to that top circle and we will truly be together – two balls of love-filled energy.

That knowing makes me smile and it is what will make the days of September just a little bit easier to bear.

Thank you Liz — once again — you never cease to amaze me!

Love,

Mom

PS – I just realized – today is the 9th – I should have paid more attention and made this post yesterday! Oh well.

 

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God At Work

31 Mar

A couple of weeks ago we had a speaker at our Compassionate Friends meeting.  Mitch Carmody lost his son Kelly to cancer in 1987 and he’s written a book entitiled, Letters to My Son.  I had read it several years ago and have wanted to meet Mitch for a very long time.  I contacted him last Fall and we set in motion his coming to town to speak to our group on March 14th.   Our local paper did a really nice front-page interview with Mitch that ran the day before our meeting.

We had a great turn out and the article brought out many more than our CF membership.  We had one couple attend who had not lost a child, but were about to.  The Harlicker’s have a 7 year old son, Tyler, in the final stages of a cancer battle.  When they read the article in the paper about Mitch, and the fact that he also lost a son from cancer, about the same age as Tyler, they felt compelled to attend as they said they felt it was a sign from God.
 
Everyone in town knows about Tyler and his cancer battle.  We have been praying for him for over a year in church every week.  Roger and I met Tim & Sue for the first time that night and they are amazing — very strong and we both were very touched at the openness with which they have dealt with this painful journey in ther family.  They have also talked very openly with Tyler and his brothers and sisters about his impending journey to heaven.
 
When Mitch Carmody’s son Kelly was in the midst of his cancer battle, he clutched a rosary and it brought tremendous comfort to him and his family.  Several years after Kelly passed Mitch came upon the rosary and began to lend it out to other people who were also fighting cancer or some other life crisis.  Some  were healed and sometimes the rosary became a very comforting symbol that helped them through the journey.
 
The rosary had been out on loan for the past three years.  However the week after Mitch spoke and met the Harlicker’s, the rosary was returned to him.  And, he immediately knew that it needed to go to Tyler.  The next day the Harlicker’s took a road trip with Tyler to meet Mich and his wife Barb and accept the rosary.  Tyler was able to see pictures of Kelly – who he knew would be his new friend in heaven.
 
Tyler completed his journey this past Tuesday and the rosary served the purpose for which it was intended.  Here is the heartbreaking but amazing account written by Tyler’s Dad, of Tyler’s transition from this world to the next.
 
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tylerharlicker/journal

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Intuition Versus Self Talk

8 Nov

Many of my readers are familiar with my spiritual teacher, mentor, and friend Kathryn Harwig.  She recently wrote a piece that is a very common-sense, down-to-earth expose on intuition.  I liked it so much I asked her permission to reprint it here:

Recently someone asked me, “How do I know if the information I am getting is coming from my intuition or from my own self talk?”  This is a very good question, and one that everyone who is serious about being intuitive needs to ask on occasion.  It is a challenge to be intuitive about yourself and most of us find that it is far easier to give someone else a psychic reading than to give ourselves good intuitive advice.

Why?  Because our own hopes, dreams, worries and fears tend to get in the way of our hearing our inner psychic, at least when we are asking for information for ourselves.  Many people solve this dilemma, at least in part, by consulting with other psychics.  But, we also want and need to use our intuition to make our own lives better.  So, it is necessary, I think, to be able to distinguish the voice of our inner self talk and the quiet voice of our intuitive wisdom.

I attended a talk once where the speaker said that our unconscious mind was unable to hear the word “Not”.  Her point was that when we make affirmations such as, “I do NOT want to be fat”, our unconscious mind only hears, “I am fat.”  I don’t know if this is true or not, but, upon reflection, I realized that my intuition almost never uses the word “not.”

I will hear, for example, “take this route to work” rather than “do NOT take your usual route”, or, “make this telephone call” rather than, “do NOT call this person.”  My “tips for better living” mind, on the other hand, is always telling me what not to do.  Thus, when I hear advice about what not to do, I am generally certain it is coming from the part of me that is fearful about something, rather than my intuition.

Another way I differentiate between intuition and self talk is that intuition speaks without emotion.  It often “hits” out of the blue with no relationship to what I am doing or even thinking about it.  It comes as an emotionless statement in my mind, or a mental picture or even a physical sensation.  Seldom though, does it carry a strong emotional charge with it. Even when I see, in my minds eye, something that would normally frighten me, I am able to view it intuitively as if I am watching a movie that doesn’t involve me.

My inner voice though, seems to thrive on emotion.  When I think about something and ruminate on it, I tend to feel a lot of emotions.  Whether the emotion I feel is excitement, joy, fear or worry is irrelevant.  Feeling that type of emotion along with a thought is a clue to me that the thought is not an intuitive message.

Another clue is that intuitive information tends to come without any value judgment attached to it.  My intuition gives me messages without any sense of “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong.”  Sometimes, after getting this information, my conscious mind jumps in, placing judgment on what I have received.  But, the actual vision or words or feelings never carry a sense of rightness or wrongness.  That is because intuitive information is valueless.  It is never right or wrong…good or bad.  It simply is.

Not long ago I got an email from some one who had heard me giving intuitive insights to audience members.  Her email said, “How do you differentiate between common sense and intuition?  When I listened to your intuitive messages, I thought, “this is just common sense advice.”

She made a very good point.  As I pondered that I thought, “Where does common sense come from?”  We talk about “common sense” as if it is something we can define and understand, but what is it, exactly?  I laughed to myself when I realized that common sense is just another way to describe intuition.  It is that wiser part of ourself that “just knows things.”

How do you tell what is intuition and what is self talk?  I would love to hear from you!

Blessings, Kathryn

http://www.harwig.com

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Listen Live Tonight At 5!

3 May

I will be Suzane Northrop’s guest tonight on Blog Talk Radio. 

Listen Live at 5 pm CDT    OR    listen to the archived show

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/suzanenorthrop/2010/05/03/the-suzane-northrop-show

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With Gratitude

19 Aug

For most of these past six years, I have known that the experiences I have had were not just for me. They were meant to be shared.

Today I took another step in making that a reality.

My story of “The French Lesson” was published in the Sept/Oct issue of Angels on Earth magazine.

Liz’s picture and story will be read by countless people now and I am so incredibly grateful to God for making it happen.

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Dreams Are Important

15 Jul

A friend of mine sent me a true story today that really brings home the importance of dreams.

Most of the time dreams don’t make sense (at least to me). But, sometimes they do bring us clear, concise messages, that leave very little need for interpretation. We can choose to share, to heed, or to keep these dreams to ourselves or to completely ignore them.

Here is the story:

A high school friend of mine, Barb, was at lunch today; the last I had heard she was in the hospital for surgery. It all started with a rash on her neck that wouldn’t go away – she got medication for it but it just got worse.

Then this 70 year old woman began spotting.

Her 17 year old granddaughter came to her one day and asked when was the last time she had a physical. It had been several years ago. She got upset and said that she had a very clear dream that she was at her Grandma’s funeral, she couldn’t get the dream out of her mind, and Grandma needed to get a check-up.

Later when Barb told her son of the granddaughter’s dream, he just looked at her and said, “Mom, call for an appointment now. I had the same dream”.

Barb is a very religious lady. She felt she could not ignore what seemed to be a clear message and so she made the appointment. The doctors discovered cancer that was eating through the wall of the uterus, and in a short while would have invaded the rest of her body. As it was, she just had to undergo a hysterectomy with no follow-up care.
* * * * *
Two things really stand out for me. The most important lesson is that when we have a life or death dream about someone, it is imperative that we share it with that person.

Put aside all thoughts of feeling silly, wierd or cooky, share the dream.

Whether the other person believes it or heeds it, is not your concern.

No one wants to look back and wish they had shared something with someone, especially someone they love, and they did not – and because they did not, a completely different outcome ensued.

Another important point is that if someone steps out and shares a dream they had about you – listen!

In this case, two people had the same dream. If neither one had shared it, I dare say the outcome of this story would have been very different.

Dreams are important.

Dreams have messages to make our lives better.

It is always our choice how we act or react to them when we receive them.

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Signs

30 Jun

I’ve been asked a lot lately if I still get signs from Liz.

I’m happy to report that I do. But it’s not like you might think.

I have no control over when a sign will come. Early on, I was obsessed and would wake up each day wondering if something would happen.

That’s very normal for new grief – and I’m certain that Liz needed to send me signs just as much as I wanted and needed to receive them.

And I have to state the obvious here — I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know why I have received so much when others in similar situations feel they have received no communication from their loved ones.

Alot depends on the loved one on the other side. Alot depends on the openness of the people left here on earth to look beyond what they can see and touch.

The signs she sent in those first days, weeks, and months were not always for me. In looking back, that was a very good thing. It brought validity to them. If I had been the only one to receive signs I and others probably would have questioned my sanity.

But she reached out to her friends and her family and spread it around. Those she chose really “got it” and most importantly were not afraid to share their experience. That is huge.

I went through a stage where I tried to get her to do something on a particular day and time. It didn’t work and was particularly frustrating and just plain made me mad.

But it made me realize and finally accept the fact that I can’t control this. It is completely out of my control. Once I had that realization, I was able to come to the conclusion that I had to be thankful for the experiences I had already received. And, eventually I was able to accept the fact that even if I never got another thing from her, it would be ok.

I knew without any doubt whatsoever that Liz lives on. Not only does she live on, she’s extremely happy and she is doing important work. I no longer feel any need to worry about her. As a parent that is HUGE!

So, getting back to signs. No, I never know when one will come. But they pop up every now and then – usually when I least expect them. And, they are a wonderful surprise.

I was told early on to “expect the unexpected” where Liz is concerned. That certainly was true when she was physically here … and it still rings true today.

We have a bond that is unbreakable. I feel now, after almost six years without her physical presence, that we are closer than ever.

We are a team – stronger than we ever would have been together on earth. She knows what I do not. God is the playwright and we the actors – and by sharing our experiences with others, it promotes hope, promise and healing.

We’ve all heard the statement that “everything happens for a reason.”

From my perspective that is essentially true. Although things happen that we don’t like and that are completely and totally unfair … but that is life.

What we do with those losses are what counts. And it is always our choice.

We can be sad, angry, resentful and unhappy for a time or for the rest of our earthly lives if we choose to.

We can also learn from our pain, use it for good and reach out to help others.

We can choose to live our lives in love or in fear.

Make good choices — choose love!

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