For most of these past six years, I have known that the experiences I have had were not just for me. They were meant to be shared.
Today I took another step in making that a reality.
My story of “The French Lesson” was published in the Sept/Oct issue of Angels on Earth magazine.
Liz’s picture and story will be read by countless people now and I am so incredibly grateful to God for making it happen.
My plans have just been finalized and I am thrilled to be in Washington DC from September 16-20 as part of Campus Firewatch.
I have joined forces with CFW headed by an angel named Ed Comeau. Along with other parents across the country who have lost a college-aged child to fire, we support Ed’s efforts to educate students, colleges, landlords, and the public on fire safety and prevention.
Our goal is to get all 50 states to declare September as “National Campus Fire Safety Awareness Month.” To date, we have 14 states who have done so. We will be on Capitol Hill on September 17th as part of this effort.
I can’t think of a better place to be – it is yet another way I can honor my precious Elizabeth and for that I am so very grateful and happy.
To learn more about the work of Campus Firewatch, please check out the website at:
http://campus-firewatch.com/spokesperson.html
We each have opportunities and choices given to us each and every day. We have the ability and free will to ignore them or to use them.
The sixth anniversary of Liz’s death will be here in about six weeks. My intention is always to find a way to honor her in some way as each anniversary comes and goes.
I never know how I will honor her. However, I haven’t had to think too hard because many wonderful opportunites just seem to present themselves about this time each year.
Last year I was able to send some words of advice via email to the parents of current U of M students moving into off-campus housing. That gelled into more opportunities to create a flyer to hand out at a picnic for U of M students on 9-20-03 at Van Cleve park, just across the street from Liz’s house. I also was given the opportunity to do a TV segment to mark the fifth anniversary of the fire and note the progress made in making off-campus housing safer for today’s students.
This year, once again, the opportunites are beginning to present themselves to me.
Liz was an avid cheerleader in high school. I learned last week that for the second year in a row, the alumni cheer team will perform at our county fair in memory of Liz.
In September, a story I wrote about Liz will be published in Angels on Earth magazine.
Today I was contacted by a local TV station and asked to do another news piece on fire safety. The story will air during the first week of classes at the U of M.
There are no words to express my gratitude for these opportunities to make a difference AND to remember my girl.
I’d like to think, and I am confident, that Liz is playing an integral part in pulling it all together and making it happen.
We are a team and together we make a difference. And that, makes life worth living.
A friend of mine sent me a true story today that really brings home the importance of dreams.
Most of the time dreams don’t make sense (at least to me). But, sometimes they do bring us clear, concise messages, that leave very little need for interpretation. We can choose to share, to heed, or to keep these dreams to ourselves or to completely ignore them.
Here is the story:
A high school friend of mine, Barb, was at lunch today; the last I had heard she was in the hospital for surgery. It all started with a rash on her neck that wouldn’t go away – she got medication for it but it just got worse.
Then this 70 year old woman began spotting.
Her 17 year old granddaughter came to her one day and asked when was the last time she had a physical. It had been several years ago. She got upset and said that she had a very clear dream that she was at her Grandma’s funeral, she couldn’t get the dream out of her mind, and Grandma needed to get a check-up.
Later when Barb told her son of the granddaughter’s dream, he just looked at her and said, “Mom, call for an appointment now. I had the same dream”.
Barb is a very religious lady. She felt she could not ignore what seemed to be a clear message and so she made the appointment. The doctors discovered cancer that was eating through the wall of the uterus, and in a short while would have invaded the rest of her body. As it was, she just had to undergo a hysterectomy with no follow-up care.
* * * * *
Two things really stand out for me. The most important lesson is that when we have a life or death dream about someone, it is imperative that we share it with that person.
Put aside all thoughts of feeling silly, wierd or cooky, share the dream.
Whether the other person believes it or heeds it, is not your concern.
No one wants to look back and wish they had shared something with someone, especially someone they love, and they did not – and because they did not, a completely different outcome ensued.
Another important point is that if someone steps out and shares a dream they had about you – listen!
In this case, two people had the same dream. If neither one had shared it, I dare say the outcome of this story would have been very different.
Dreams are important.
Dreams have messages to make our lives better.
It is always our choice how we act or react to them when we receive them.
1. Money does not buy happiness.
2. Celebrity is never what it seems.
3. Childhood is a necessary and very
important part of our lives.
4. Being famous does not mean you love yourself.
5. Sometimes you are your own worst
enemy.
6. Money and fame do not bring peace
or a long life.
7. Our life is what WE choose
to make it — even those the world
knows by name.
8. Celebrities have problems and issues
just like us so called regular people.
9. We all long to love and to be loved.
10. People search in many places to find peace and happiness – drugs, alcohol, plastic surgery, all in search of something that can only be found within ourselves and through a higher power.
Rest in peace Michael – you deserve it.
I’ve been asked a lot lately if I still get signs from Liz.
I’m happy to report that I do. But it’s not like you might think.
I have no control over when a sign will come. Early on, I was obsessed and would wake up each day wondering if something would happen.
That’s very normal for new grief – and I’m certain that Liz needed to send me signs just as much as I wanted and needed to receive them.
And I have to state the obvious here — I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know why I have received so much when others in similar situations feel they have received no communication from their loved ones.
Alot depends on the loved one on the other side. Alot depends on the openness of the people left here on earth to look beyond what they can see and touch.
The signs she sent in those first days, weeks, and months were not always for me. In looking back, that was a very good thing. It brought validity to them. If I had been the only one to receive signs I and others probably would have questioned my sanity.
But she reached out to her friends and her family and spread it around. Those she chose really “got it” and most importantly were not afraid to share their experience. That is huge.
I went through a stage where I tried to get her to do something on a particular day and time. It didn’t work and was particularly frustrating and just plain made me mad.
But it made me realize and finally accept the fact that I can’t control this. It is completely out of my control. Once I had that realization, I was able to come to the conclusion that I had to be thankful for the experiences I had already received. And, eventually I was able to accept the fact that even if I never got another thing from her, it would be ok.
I knew without any doubt whatsoever that Liz lives on. Not only does she live on, she’s extremely happy and she is doing important work. I no longer feel any need to worry about her. As a parent that is HUGE!
So, getting back to signs. No, I never know when one will come. But they pop up every now and then – usually when I least expect them. And, they are a wonderful surprise.
I was told early on to “expect the unexpected” where Liz is concerned. That certainly was true when she was physically here … and it still rings true today.
We have a bond that is unbreakable. I feel now, after almost six years without her physical presence, that we are closer than ever.
We are a team – stronger than we ever would have been together on earth. She knows what I do not. God is the playwright and we the actors – and by sharing our experiences with others, it promotes hope, promise and healing.
We’ve all heard the statement that “everything happens for a reason.”
From my perspective that is essentially true. Although things happen that we don’t like and that are completely and totally unfair … but that is life.
What we do with those losses are what counts. And it is always our choice.
We can be sad, angry, resentful and unhappy for a time or for the rest of our earthly lives if we choose to.
We can also learn from our pain, use it for good and reach out to help others.
We can choose to live our lives in love or in fear.
Make good choices — choose love!
The past couple of weeks have been so enjoyable, relaxing, fun, the adjectives could just keep flowing.
Anna has been in Thailand/Bali for almost two weeks now and with her blog, her facebook posts, and emails she doesn’t feel far away at all.
I spent last week on beautiful Lake Vermillion with Roger, my parents, and sister Sue. My brothers Mike & Randy, and nephew Thomas spent some time with us as well.
We had such a great week. Our “cabin” was absolutely beautiful and had absolutely everything we could want – right down to some cold beer in the frig when we arrived.
The weather was beautiful, the fish were biting and we had plenty of time to read and relax.
Yesterday was spent at the annual Baldwin reunion, held this year in Ortonville. My cousin Brenda’s daughters, Amber and Vanessa and families came up from Texas and we had good ole fashioned Texas food and boy was it good!
It’s always so nice to see everyone again when we are relaxed and not together for a funeral.
On the way to the reunion yesterday Sue’s cell phone rang and it was Anna, calling us via Skype from Bali. She is doing well and having the time of her life.
L.I.F.E.
Love Inspires Faith Everyday
Well, it’s begun … in my mind anyway … one week from tomorrow I will put my daughter on a plane without knowing when I will see her next … it could be three months … it could be nine months or even a year.
But, I need to keep reminding myself that this is her dream … she is living her dream … how many people can say that … or have the courage to live it?
My angst about her leaving is not about her not being able to get along without me … rather it’s all about me not being able to get along without her. Oh yes, I will function, I will do the day to day chores and activities that I’ve always done … but her physical presence will be missing from my life … I keep thinking – I’ve already lost the physical presence of one of my daughters …. it’s hard to fathom the thought of living without the presence of this daughter … but I have to … and I will.
I need to keep reminding myself that we all choose how we will react to the situations that arise in our lives. So, I will do my best to think positive thoughts, and keep remembering that in my case, “No news is good news.” Anna is embarking on an opportunity of a lifetime and I am SO proud of her. I know she will do her part to make our world a better place.
In the long run, I know I would feel worse if I made a scene and cried and carried on and begged her not to go.
I found this poem yesterday by Kahlil Gibran that rings true for me right now:
ON CHILDREN
by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I’m sure it’s no accident that some of the events happening in my life right now are happening before Anna leaves for Thailand.
She leaves on June 15th … only a little over a month away, and I already miss her!
Last week I found out that my story of Liz’s Letter is going to be included in the September issue of Angels on Earth magazine.
Today I got an email requesting a photo of Liz (no problem) as well as a current photo of me (problem).
Luckily Anna finished work early and as I picked her up I told her I needed her to take a picture of me. Oh, yes and by the way could you do my make-up?
Being the great daughter that she is, she agreed and we worked for about 45 minutes pulling it together.
We came up with the photo on the right side of my blog. It’s me.
Anna not only took the picture, but she downloaded it and sent it to me so I could send it to the photo editor.
I never could have done it without her help … but now I have them and can use them again if the opportunity arises.
I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold out before I flee the country for Thailand …
I got a poem the other day from my friend, Linda Turnbull. Linda and I are in the same “club.” Her daughter, Julie, died in an off-campus fire at Miami University of Ohio in April, 2005.
We are always connected to our children – no matter where they are – no matter how old they are.
The Cord
We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.
It’s not like the cord
That connects us ‘til birth
This cord can’t be seen
By any on Earth.
This cord does it’s work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.
It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though she is gone,
Though she’s not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can’t take away!
(Author unknown)
Welcome to my blog about love, life and transformation!
Kim
LOVE LIVES ON 