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Tag Archives: Elizabeth Wencl
Eight
9 Sep
The number eight has been rolling around in my brain for the past few days. I assumed it was because we will soon be marking the eighth anniversary of my daughter’s death.
However, it dawned on me yesterday that there was more to it than that. I realized that September 12th would have been her 28th birthday and eight days after her birthday is the 20th – the day she died – eight years ago.
As all of those realities sank in, I began to see the number eight in my mind’s eye. And I began to pay attention.
Notice that once you put your pen on paper you can make an eight in one fluid motion and you have two circles that intersect one on top of the other. This is a metaphor for the relationship that Liz and I continue to share.
Our lives will always intersect. She will always play a part in my life and I will always play a part in hers. Each circle represents one of us. The top circle represents Liz because she is now on a higher plain than I am. Her energy vibrates at a much higher level than mine does. She has moved on to a higher plain of existence or heaven, so she is the top circle - I continue my work here on earth so I represent the bottom circle - we are in different worlds – but yet still solidly connected.
Look again at the eight — it is like a path that can be followed. You may start out at the top and work your way down (to earth) and then continue to go back up — Liz did that. Or you can start at the top and continue down and follow the same road as long as you need to and then you switch lanes and move up – but whatever your path you always remain connected.
Whenever September rolls around I try to make sense of things — but most of the time there is no sense to be made — it just is. Choices were made and consequences followed — for both of us. But what gives me comfort and solace today is the gentle nudge that I believe Liz is giving me to remember that just like the number eight our lives will always be intersecting with each other. And one day, when my job here is complete I will move to that top circle and we will truly be together – two balls of love-filled energy.
That knowing makes me smile and it is what will make the days of September just a little bit easier to bear.
Thank you Liz — once again — you never cease to amaze me!
Love,
Mom
PS – I just realized – today is the 9th – I should have paid more attention and made this post yesterday! Oh well.
Wake Me Up When September Ends?
12 AugIn a few short days, the month of September will be upon us. As I type these words, I can physically feel my stomach flip-flopping and a knot beginning to form. What’s wrong with September you ask? Technically … nothing … I do enjoy the last days of summer and the soon-to-be fall weather.
But my oldest daughter’s birthday and the day she died are both in the month of September. September brings up so many memories … both the good and the painful.
On September 12th my Elizabeth would be 28 years old. What would she be doing with her life, I so often wonder. Where would she be living, what career would she have chosen? Would she be married? Would she have any children? Would she have dealt with the demons that plagued her in the last years of her life? These are all questions that will forever remain unanswered.
On September 20th we will mark the eighth anniversary of her death as well as the deaths of Amanda and Brian, two of her six roommates. Three young lives gone in an instant as the result of a fire in their old wooden duplex just a few blocks from the University of Minnesota where they were all just beginning their adult lives. So much promise … so many dreams and hopes gone in an instant.
So, what do I do? I could continue to focus on what is no longer possible … and, trust me, I do that on occasion. I think it’s necessary and I owe it to Liz. To sweep it all under the rug and pretend it never happened not only is a disservice to my daughter, but it is also a disservice to me. Revisiting the pain is necessary and part of my grieving process. The key, however, is only to visit, not remain stuck in it.
What is also necessary is to focus on the twenty years I had with my daughter. The times she made me laugh, made me smile, made me so mad I could hardly see straight — the good times as well as the bad. I remember that Elizabeth’s life was so much more than the way that she died. In the end, all I can do is smile because when it is all said and done the only thing that really matters is how much we love each other. Love wins out over pain and heartache in the end.
There is a song by Green Day called, Wake Me Up When September Ends. My husband has commented that he would like nothing better than to go to sleep on August 31st and wake up on October 1st. And, even though I breathe a big sigh of relief when the calendar turns to October, I would never wish not to have September.
So in a few days I will focus on remembering. I will honor her each and every day – in some small ways and maybe even some big ways. I will celebrate her and love her for what she is and will always be, my beloved first-born daughter. Death can never change that – nor can it erase the love that we will always share.
“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Alfred Lord Tennyson
Promoting Fire Safety for Today’s College Students
28 AugYesterday Anna and I had the opportunity to do a news story about Liz, the fire that took her life, and our lives since that day.
The main focus was to alert current students who are just moving into off-campus housing.
Getting them to realize and take seriously their own personal safety is a tough sell.
But all we can do is keeping repeating it at every opportunity.
Here is a link to our story:
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Kim
