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A Wonderful Birthday Celebration

7 Feb

Elizabeth Helps Grandpa Celebrate His 80th Birthday!

Yesterday was my Dad’s 80th birthday.  I had so much fun planning a little party with our family on Sunday.  As time went on new ideas  to honor him popped up.  I put flowers on the altar at church  in his honor.  We put his picture in our local paper, and he even made the 10 pm news last Friday night!

We had a wonderful time on Sunday celebrating and honoring Dad.  Yesterday we all received a gift that we will all honor and cherish forever.  My cousins, Dawn and Beth (Elizabeth) and their husbands, joined us in the celebration.  Beth works for a photographer and loves to take photos.  All throughout the afternoon she was taking them.

Yesterday I received a note from her about one of the family pics.  There was a huge white spot right above my head and close to my husband Roger and my daughter Anna.  When Beth first noticed it she was alarmed that something had gone wrong with her camera and perhaps all the photos would be ruined.

Not the case – the white spot, otherwise known as an “orb” was only on one picture.

Excitedly I printed the photo out and called my Dad over.  He came into my kitchen, and I told him I had one final birthday gift for him but he’d better sit down first.  I explained what an orb was and the significance of it, and then laid the photo down in front of him.  He studied the photo from one side to the other and suddenly the realization hit him.  His precious first-born granddaughter, Elizabeth, had made her presence known on a very special day in his life.

We both shed tears of joy, and now we really do have a photo of the entire family!

The power of love cannot be broken — not even by death!

Eight

9 Sep

The number eight has been rolling around in my brain for the past few days.  I assumed it was because we will soon be marking the eighth anniversary of my daughter’s death.

However, it dawned on me yesterday that there was more to it than that.  I realized that September 12th would have been her 28th birthday and eight days after her birthday is the 20th – the day she died – eight years ago.

As all of those realities sank in, I began to see the number eight in my mind’s eye.  And I began to pay attention.

Notice that once you put your pen on paper you can make an eight in one fluid motion and you have two circles that intersect one on top of the other.  This is a metaphor for the relationship that Liz and I continue to share.

Our lives will always intersect.  She will always play a part in my life and I will always play a part in hers.  Each circle represents one of us.  The top circle represents Liz because she is now on a higher plain than I am.  Her energy vibrates at a much higher level than mine does.  She has moved on to a higher plain of existence or heaven, so she is the top circle - I continue my work here on earth so I represent the bottom circle - we are in different worlds – but yet still solidly connected.

Look again at the eight — it is like a path that can be followed.  You may start out at the top and work your way down (to earth) and then continue to go back up — Liz did that.  Or you can start at the top and continue down and follow the same road as long as you need to and then you switch lanes and move up – but whatever your path you always remain connected.

Whenever September rolls around I try to make sense of things — but most of the time there is no sense to be made — it just is.  Choices were made and consequences followed — for both of us.  But what gives me comfort and solace today is the gentle nudge that I believe Liz is giving me to remember that just like the number eight our lives will always be intersecting with each other.  And one day, when my job here is complete I will move to that top circle and we will truly be together – two balls of love-filled energy.

That knowing makes me smile and it is what will make the days of September just a little bit easier to bear.

Thank you Liz — once again — you never cease to amaze me!

Love,

Mom

PS – I just realized – today is the 9th – I should have paid more attention and made this post yesterday! Oh well.

 

Wake Me Up When September Ends?

12 Aug

In a few short days,  the month of September will be upon us.  As I type these words, I can physically feel my stomach flip-flopping and a knot beginning to form.  What’s wrong with September you ask?  Technically … nothing  … I do enjoy the last days of summer and the soon-to-be fall weather.

But my oldest daughter’s birthday and the day she died are both in the month of September.  September brings up so many memories … both the good and the painful.

On September 12th my Elizabeth would be 28 years old.  What would she be doing with her life, I so often wonder.  Where would she be living, what career would she have chosen?  Would she be married?  Would she have any children?  Would she have dealt with the demons that plagued her in the last years of her life?  These are all questions that will forever remain unanswered.

On September 20th we will mark the eighth anniversary of her death as well as the deaths of Amanda and Brian, two of her six roommates.  Three young lives gone in an instant as the result of a fire in their old wooden duplex just a few blocks from the University of Minnesota where they were all just beginning their adult lives.  So much promise … so many dreams and hopes gone in an instant.

So, what do I do?  I could continue to focus on what is no longer possible … and, trust me, I do that on occasion.  I think it’s necessary and I owe it to Liz.  To sweep it all under the rug and pretend it never happened not only is a disservice to my daughter, but it is also a disservice to me.  Revisiting the pain is necessary and part of my grieving process.  The key, however, is only to visit, not remain stuck in it.

What is also necessary is to focus on the twenty years I had with my daughter.  The times she made me laugh, made me smile, made me so mad I could hardly see straight — the good times as well as the bad.  I remember that Elizabeth’s life was so much more than the way that she died.  In the end, all I can do is smile because when it is all said and done the only thing that really matters is how much we love each other.  Love wins out over pain and heartache in the end.

There is a song by Green Day called, Wake Me Up When September Ends.  My husband has commented that he would like nothing better than to go to sleep on August 31st and wake up on October 1st.  And, even though I breathe a big sigh of relief when the calendar turns to October, I would never wish not to have September.

So in a few days I will focus on remembering.  I will honor her each and every day  – in some small ways and maybe even some big ways.  I will celebrate her and love her for what she is and will always be, my beloved first-born daughter.  Death can never change that – nor can it erase the love that we will always share.

“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”  Alfred Lord Tennyson

What We Can Learn From Michael Jackson

4 Jul

1. Money does not buy happiness.

2. Celebrity is never what it seems.

3. Childhood is a necessary and very
important part of our lives.

4. Being famous does not mean you love yourself.

5. Sometimes you are your own worst
enemy.

6. Money and fame do not bring peace
or a long life.

7. Our life is what WE choose
to make it — even those the world
knows by name.

8. Celebrities have problems and issues
just like us so called regular people.

9. We all long to love and to be loved.

10. People search in many places to find peace and happiness – drugs, alcohol, plastic surgery, all in search of something that can only be found within ourselves and through a higher power.

Rest in peace Michael – you deserve it.

The End of an Era

7 Feb

Yesterday was my last day at SPX.  After 34 years and ten months,, it ended just as I had always hoped that it would – in joy, and on my terms.

I can’t say enough good things about SPX.  It has played an enormous role in my life.  It brought me my husband, a wonderful life that afforded me the opportunity to have and raise my daughters, buy a home, and travel on occasion.  SPX was there for me in the good times like my wedding and the birth of my children, but they were also there during the most painful time of my life, the death of my daughter Liz.  And they did more than just send flowers and sympathies.

SPX gave Roger and I as much time off (with pay) as we needed.  But they also went above and beyond … they paid for the food after the funeral.  It was totally unexpected and something we will never forget and will always be grateful for. 

We felt the love and support of the entire company as we dealt with this most painful of events.  And it didn’t stop a month or two after the funeral. 

It’s always oh so easy to sit back and criticize the company and/or the people that you work for.  I’ve done it many times over the years.  But when you look at the big picture, I think we  have a tendency to sell our employers short … or always look at the negative instead of all the positive opportunities they present to us as employees.

So … THANKS SPX …. you gave a shy, quiet 19 year old kid a job and it became a wonderful life.   I could not have asked for anything more.

It’s a NEW Day!

20 Jan

Today is the day – I have never in all of my 54 plus years been so excited, so envigorated, so hopeful for our nation than I am today.

It really is a NEW Day … in so many ways.

Barack Obama is like a breath of fresh air in the stale air of Washington DC. 

He brings a new energy, a new sense of purpose, and a new and very wonderful sense of family.  He represents all that is good and that which is right with our world.

Please join me in sending him light and love for the difficult journey that lays in front of him and that he has chosen to accept.

It is a grand day and even better is that today is the 20th!?!  :-)

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